Cinematic Disappointments

[Nikki Dolson]

It’s 10:30 pm on a windy Las Vegas night and I am disappointed.

Sex and the City. I love Sex and the City. The shoes. The girls. The handbags. The girls.

I stood in line for over two hours to end up sitting three rows form the screen. I spent a half hour watching nausea inducing camera work while Sarah Jessica, Kristin, Samantha and Jennifer Hudson walked the red carpet.

Then the movie began. At the ten minute mark things went terribly wrong. And stayed that way.

Shame on you Michael Patrick King for trying to cram two seasons worth of story arc and angst into an hour and a half.

Shame on you New Line Cinema for allowing that cut of your film to leave the studio. (this is where I mention what I learned from the movie tonight about filmmaking. Evidently, binder clips and poster board come in handy when filming actors. I saw lots of them along with microphones, hovering like 1950s flying saucers over every character at least once in each scene.)

And lastly, and most importantly, shame on me. Why?

For being the kind of loyal girl who drops twenty dollars on a movie just because I’m invested in the characters. For being the kind of person who can’t wait for the movie to come out on DVD on the off chance that I might later regret not seeing it on the BIG SCREEN. For buying into the hype. But mostly for being sad that the movie sucked.

It's like Big broke my heart tonight and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. I think I’ll up my Net Flix account to four-at-a-time and stay in from now on.

Please, come one, come all and share your last cinematic disappointment.

[Nikki Dolson]

I wanted to go but now I think I'll just let my husband and mother go without me. :)

[Sandra Ruttan]

It was what Indiana Jones movies are - over the top, suspend disbelief and go for the big action and music. They should have filmed it on location, for one thing. I'd still call it a B movie, it did what it intended to do, but it was much easier to watch and enjoy those movies 18 years ago than it is now.

[Grant McKenzie]

I actually thought Indy started too slow. I didn't want to see those kids racing in the car. I wanted Indy and his pal to be snatched up from some exotic jungle locale just as they're about to have their heads lopped off by a pissed-off tribe, only to discover their rescuers are evil Ruskies who whisk them to the air field and . . . the movie begins (Oh, and minus all the, I used to be a spy stuff — who cares? He's Indy, he's cool, he doesn't have to be Wayne, John Wayne, too.)

[Sandra Ruttan]

Yeah, I agree that would have been a better beginning.

Of course, the point was for Spielberg and Lucas to weave in nods to all their favourite things from movies they'd done before. The intro made me think of American Graffiti.

[Grant McKenzie]

"Cod theology" — I knew something was fishy ;-)
Plus it made no mention that the superior beings were redheads.

[Sandra Ruttan]

You've hit on what Brian said, and I agree - he hated how they did the special effects. There's no tension, they're artificial. And as I said, they should have filmed on location... cost-cutting and laziness.

I've only watched Temple of Doom again, and that's definitely not my favourite. It left me with low standards overall, I think. I noticed a timeline mistake in that movie that was just the beginning of picking it to pieces.

You really have to put your brain on pause and just enjoy whatever there is to enjoy (action?) to get the most out of these movies. The early teens seem to be loving them, while people who grew up with the originals seem to be having more trouble with the new movie.

[Nikki Dolson]

Wow folks! I will definitely wait until this is on DVD. Which should be by Xmas.

[Karyn J. Powers]

Did anyone else note that what was called a "space portal" at one point turned into a space ship at another? I have been waiting for an uproar from the SciFi community, but so far, not even a meow. I think they were all a little long in the tooth for the action. My vote is a re-release; "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Plastic Hip!"

[Karyn J. Powers]

P.S. Having been raised with red heads, I am not surprized that the alien kings were adorned such. My older sisters always thought they were in charge and I never understood a thing they said without a third party to translate.

[Naomi Johnson]

This year's cure for cinematic disappointment: Go see 'SON OF RAMBOW.' It's one of those little gems that you'll never forget seeing.

[Karyn J. Powers]

Mama Mia! If ever there was a reason to time travel... it won't be triggered by a need to hear a live Abba performance. And if you enjoy/enjoyed Abba the first time around, hearing Pierce Brosnen sing should soil that memory for you forever. Meryl Streep has a strong set of pipes and an even stronger back because she had to carry the rest of the cast. I don't think there's an Oscar in this for her unless its from Oscar Meyer.. as in highly processed ham!

[Julie Lomoe]

My latest cinematic disappointment is BURN AFTER READING by the Cohen brothers.
I laughed a lot, and I'd recommend seeing it on the big screen just to ogle George Clooney and Brad Pitt, and to savor Frances McDormand's over-the-top performance. I'm labeling it a disappointment chiefly because the ending was so lame and anticlimactic. I won't go into details because I don't want to spoil it for others, but many key plot points were presented after the fact by means of other characters talking about them rather than by showing them on screen.

"Show don't tell" is basic advice in Mystery Writers 101. Why didn't the Cohen brothers do this? Was it budget constraints, or were they just too lazy? It's as if they ran out of gas about 2/3 of the way through.