Weren't we supposed to be planning "the heist to end all heists?"

So, what are we gonna steal? Let's start by deciding that and take it from there.

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Hey! You stole my idea!
Sorry. Vulcan mind meld. Can't help myself.
Reminds me of a cartoon I once saw. All these tough guys around a table, a garden gnome in the centre. They're cutting letters out of a newspaper to form a message. 'We got your gnome.' Oh, shit. Do you have garden gnomes in the US of A? I bet you do, and lots more besides.
We have the Travelocity roaming gnome, who seems to have a self-destructive streak...at least in the TV ads I've seen. And there are lots of gnomes at a tourist attraction called Rock City.

This may tell you more about me than you want to know, but if I received a note saying, "We have your gnome," I would not be moved to action, most probably because I don't actually have a gnome and would assume the note had been delivered to me by mistake.
I have gnomes, and would be horribly discombobulated if somebody snatched them!

But enough about them. What shall WE steal?

Hmmm.....how about a rocket ship? The one that lets regular civilians fly to the Moon.

Too easy?

bobbi c.
I think we should steal the rocket ship to make our getaway. Would it be too obvious to say this is an out-of-this-world idea? Sorry. I'm on medication you know.
Jon, I thought you WERE Brad Pitt, at least, until you murdered Agnes that is. Then I realized you were a budding...um, never mind. Don't want you coming after ME with that paddle. ;-)
"the heist to end all heists"

There it is, right there. We have to somehow figure out a way to steal ALL HEISTS.

It's so Charlie Kaufman I think we'll have to get him involved personally. Or failing that, Josh Whedon. If he can pull this off, he must be of use to us.
Charlie Kaufman is the only one who could possibly figure this out, although Philip K. Dick would probably come in handy, too. Kaufman could take us through the secret portals into criminals' brains so we could know what they are planning, and Dick could help us identify which people were about to commit heists even before they knew they were going to commit them. That way we'd have all our bases covered.

Actually what I'd like to steal is some of Dick's ideas for short stories. But I guess that's not much of a heist. I like Jon's parameters...heavily guarded, inpenetrabe vaults and souped up Mini Coopers, although I personally would like to drive a souped up Maserati or Lamberghini. My partners in crime can have the Mini Coopers.
Michaelangelo's David. Steal it and replace it with an inflatable replica.
Love the idea, but which part?
I was thinking the whole thing, but if you have something anatomically correct in mind, I suppose we could hit with a hacksaw.

For some strange reason I've always wanted to steal those gold statues of... what the hell was his name... John Smith? No, that's Pocahontas... Anyway, those gold statues on top of all the Mormon temples. Like all at the same time. A fleet of helicopters snagging each one in a massive coordinated effort.

Not that I have problems with Mormons. I just think it'd be funny.

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