Beginning Sentences with Dependent Clauses - CrimeSpace2024-03-28T21:12:07Zhttp://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/beginning-sentences-with?commentId=537324%3AComment%3A187028&feed=yes&xn_auth=noSorry. I was okay until he ca…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895372009-03-24T14:00:13.823ZJack Getzehttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/JGetze
Sorry. I was okay until he called me a clown.
Sorry. I was okay until he called me a clown. This is an abusive post. Repo…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895352009-03-24T13:48:10.875ZJon Loomishttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/JonLoomis
This is an abusive post. Reporting.
This is an abusive post. Reporting. Love that first clause. What…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895332009-03-24T13:46:46.781ZI. J. Parkerhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Ingpark
Love that first clause. What a pity it would be to lose that. As far as I can see :), only the third sentence in the paragraph lumbers along awkwardly.<br />
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It might be a neat experiment to see if the paragraph gets longer if it is rewritten without starting dependent clauses.<br />
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The "show-don't tell" form of writing definitely requires more words.
Love that first clause. What a pity it would be to lose that. As far as I can see :), only the third sentence in the paragraph lumbers along awkwardly.<br />
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It might be a neat experiment to see if the paragraph gets longer if it is rewritten without starting dependent clauses.<br />
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The "show-don't tell" form of writing definitely requires more words. You caught me again, Linton.…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895312009-03-24T13:46:39.093ZJon Loomishttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/JonLoomis
You caught me again, Linton. Can't get anything past you, buddy.
You caught me again, Linton. Can't get anything past you, buddy. John--I think that's true to…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895292009-03-24T13:42:26.343ZJon Loomishttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/JonLoomis
John--I think that's true to an extent, but maybe a bit too subtle to be helpful in this particular conversation.
John--I think that's true to an extent, but maybe a bit too subtle to be helpful in this particular conversation. Buffeted by the swirling wind…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895272009-03-24T13:21:01.810ZDana Kinghttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/DanaKing
Buffeted by the swirling winds of baroque self-gratification, I was pleased to find Jude's succinct comment above. Brief though it may be, it sums up the crux of the argument. Regarding dependent clauses, their placement relative to the rest of the sentence is largely dependent on the style and flow--dare I say voice?--the author wishes to convey. It has been said, possibly in Strunk and White, that the writer's primary mission is to give the reader a fighting chance to figure out what the hell…
Buffeted by the swirling winds of baroque self-gratification, I was pleased to find Jude's succinct comment above. Brief though it may be, it sums up the crux of the argument. Regarding dependent clauses, their placement relative to the rest of the sentence is largely dependent on the style and flow--dare I say voice?--the author wishes to convey. It has been said, possibly in Strunk and White, that the writer's primary mission is to give the reader a fighting chance to figure out what the hell the writer is talking about. (As is common in such discussions, I have paraphrased.) How this clarity is conveyed is up to the individual writer, but anything that strikes the reader as a purely authorial intrusion will remove the reader from the vivid ficitonal dream all writers strive to create. Also, as can be seen here, too many dependent clauses used to begin sentences can get to be a real pain in the ass. The more I think about it, Jo…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895162009-03-24T12:50:10.603ZJude Hardinhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/festus
The more I think about it, Jon, the more--for me--it's a point of view issue. In first and limited third, it just seems really strange for a character to present his/her story with those types of constructions. It's too...writerly, if you will, calling attention to itself and pulling the reader--this reader, at least--out of the story.<br />
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But, like I said, I do see it a lot in published fiction, so it obviously isn't bothersome to a lot of editors.
The more I think about it, Jon, the more--for me--it's a point of view issue. In first and limited third, it just seems really strange for a character to present his/her story with those types of constructions. It's too...writerly, if you will, calling attention to itself and pulling the reader--this reader, at least--out of the story.<br />
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But, like I said, I do see it a lot in published fiction, so it obviously isn't bothersome to a lot of editors. Just for the record, I don't…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1895142009-03-24T12:25:04.121ZJon Loomishttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/JonLoomis
Just for the record, I don't have a problem with sentences that begin with dependent clauses, as long as they're good sentences, and as long as the construction isn't overused--but I'd say that about almost any sentence structure that wasn't simple declarative.
Just for the record, I don't have a problem with sentences that begin with dependent clauses, as long as they're good sentences, and as long as the construction isn't overused--but I'd say that about almost any sentence structure that wasn't simple declarative. Like adverbs, passive voice,…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1894882009-03-24T10:03:22.391ZJude Hardinhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/festus
<i>Like adverbs, passive voice, limited POV's, "head hopping" and all the other moronic taboos, they end up getting repeated and pop up elsewhere, where wannabes want to be cool and superior. And young writers read them, kvetch over them, and pass them on.</i><br />
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How is it "moronic" to pass on tips about improving technique? Why wouldn't young writers want to make their prose stronger?<br />
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To me, if we're going to talk about writing, it's legitimate to talk about the language itself and how it's…
<i>Like adverbs, passive voice, limited POV's, "head hopping" and all the other moronic taboos, they end up getting repeated and pop up elsewhere, where wannabes want to be cool and superior. And young writers read them, kvetch over them, and pass them on.</i><br />
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How is it "moronic" to pass on tips about improving technique? Why wouldn't young writers want to make their prose stronger?<br />
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To me, if we're going to talk about writing, it's legitimate to talk about the language itself and how it's presented. Otherwise, we might as well go back to communicating with drawings on the walls of caves. I don't agree with that.tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-03-24:537324:Comment:1894832009-03-24T08:07:31.378ZJohn Dishonhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/whiteskwirl
I don't agree with that.
I don't agree with that.