Top Ten Reasons to Quit Writing

[Jude Hardin]

10. The odds of landing a book deal right now are about the same as winning the lottery and being struck by lightning on the same day.

9. Even if you do manage to get a book deal, you can make more money bagging groceries.

8. Blank, white, rectangular thingies with the number 1 in the top right corner make you want to puke.

7. You could never write anything as good as {insert name of favorite author here}, so why even bother?

6. If you add one more rejection letter to the pile, the Earth might actually tilt on its axis.

5. There’s this abstract concept you vaguely remember called “a life,” and you’re starting to think you might need to get one.

4. You’re so preoccupied sometimes, complete strangers tap you on the shoulder and say, “Are you all right?”

3. You plan to make whoever was responsible for getting your order wrong at Hardee’s drive-thru yesterday a victim in your next mystery.

2. You have erotic dreams about the sales clerk at Staples.

And the number one reason to quit writing is...

Screw it. I'm not even going to waste my time posting the number one reason. If you’re really a writer, you’ll just ignore it anyway.

[I. J. Parker]

Can't say I disagree. But I like writing better than not writing.

[Jude Hardin]

Me too, I.J.

[Jon Loomis]

Like Dorothy Parker, I hate writing. But I like sitting down at the end of a productive writing day with a tall scotch and a good cigar too much to give it up. I know--I could just drink the scotch and smoke the cigar and forget the writing (and God knows I've done plenty of that, too), but it's not the same. The best reason to quit? When you no longer feel you're earning your scotch, maybe.

[Jude Hardin]

You don't smoke those things in the house, do you? I can just see your wife with a can of Glade in her hand, uttering expletives as she sprays.

[Jon Loomis]

Good God, no. But if I did, she'd have the glade in one hand and a rolling-pin in the other.

[B.R.Stateham]

The No. 1 reason to quit writing:
You just found out your eighteen year-old granddaughter signed a multi-million dollar contract for first book entitled, "How to Date Boys." And only you know she hates to read.

[I. J. Parker]

Nice! :)

[Jude Hardin]

That doesn't make me want to quit writing, B.R.

It makes me want to run naked through the woods behind my house shouting incomprehensibly.

[Tom Cooke]

I've been doing that for years. For some reason the urge abated when I switched from technical writing to fiction. Now I just bang my head on the floor.

[J. F. Juzwik]

This is great, and yet, frightening, since they're all true. You're right though. We keep doing it. Because we love it. And, that's reason enough. Joyce

[Jude Hardin]

I can't think of a better reason, Joyce.

[Clay Morgan]

Honest truth - I once asked the clerk at Staples out on a date. Alas, nothing happened to inspire erotic dreams.