Writing exercise - CrimeSpace2024-03-29T04:58:27Zhttp://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/writing-exercise?id=537324%3ATopic%3A194241&feed=yes&xn_auth=noHollywood, gone freakshow--th…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-27:537324:Comment:1960402009-04-27T06:54:47.236ZMari Sloanhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Mari
Hollywood, gone freakshow--the corpse wasn't wearing anything but her well-worn birthday suit. It could be a set for a B-grade movie but the traffic moving gingerly around the anceint starlet hestitated, one car at the time, to examine her shopped out collagened lips and poorly executed boob job, thanking whatever Gods they favored that they hadn't been able to afford star-powered plastic surgery. It was a blessed last act when the ambulance pulled up and took the old diva away.
Hollywood, gone freakshow--the corpse wasn't wearing anything but her well-worn birthday suit. It could be a set for a B-grade movie but the traffic moving gingerly around the anceint starlet hestitated, one car at the time, to examine her shopped out collagened lips and poorly executed boob job, thanking whatever Gods they favored that they hadn't been able to afford star-powered plastic surgery. It was a blessed last act when the ambulance pulled up and took the old diva away. "Hey Jimmy, this afternoon cr…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-21:537324:Comment:1948092009-04-21T10:19:28.684ZBobhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Bob24
"Hey Jimmy, this afternoon crowd rocks, the Goochie pursue alone will fetch a few hundred on Ebay."<br />
<br />
I watched Hank rummage through the purse contents tossing the lipstick, car keys and wallet after he passed me the cash, cards and crumpled piece of paper.<br />
<br />
"Crap, my watch reads 3:15, I broke the dang thing swiping...."<br />
<br />
Red oozed from a hole in Hank's neck as his knees buckled and I flinched as a thousand pellets exploded into my face from the nearby wall. I was on the garbage can and over the…
"Hey Jimmy, this afternoon crowd rocks, the Goochie pursue alone will fetch a few hundred on Ebay."<br />
<br />
I watched Hank rummage through the purse contents tossing the lipstick, car keys and wallet after he passed me the cash, cards and crumpled piece of paper.<br />
<br />
"Crap, my watch reads 3:15, I broke the dang thing swiping...."<br />
<br />
Red oozed from a hole in Hank's neck as his knees buckled and I flinched as a thousand pellets exploded into my face from the nearby wall. I was on the garbage can and over the wall, my leg erupting in pain followed by a warm tickle down to my ankle. Here you go:
http://crimespa…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-20:537324:Comment:1947742009-04-20T23:53:05.883ZminervaKhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/minervakoenig
Here you go:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/crimespace-serial-novel">http://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/crimespace-serial-novel</a><br />
<br />
cheers!
Here you go:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/crimespace-serial-novel">http://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/crimespace-serial-novel</a><br />
<br />
cheers! Did you mean the first senten…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-20:537324:Comment:1947682009-04-20T23:30:46.868ZminervaKhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/minervakoenig
Did you mean the first sentence instead be<br />
<br />
"The dead man's wallet *was* talking, it just didn't have anything to say."<br />
<br />
or<br />
<br />
"The dead man's wallet wasn't talking. It just didn't have anything to say."<br />
<br />
?<br />
<br />
The first one sounds like the beginning of an interesting paragraph, in which, perhaps, the finder of the items is hallucinating.
Did you mean the first sentence instead be<br />
<br />
"The dead man's wallet *was* talking, it just didn't have anything to say."<br />
<br />
or<br />
<br />
"The dead man's wallet wasn't talking. It just didn't have anything to say."<br />
<br />
?<br />
<br />
The first one sounds like the beginning of an interesting paragraph, in which, perhaps, the finder of the items is hallucinating. "Maybe he's dead," my Neander…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-20:537324:Comment:1946752009-04-20T17:47:22.111ZB.R.Statehamhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/BRStateham
"Maybe he's dead," my Neanderthal look-alike partner in the South Side homicide division --and friend grunted, looking down at the body. "Did anyone check for a pulse?"<br />
<br />
A bullet hole about the size of a Pullman car had been drilled through the man's chest at close range. Lying on the hot cement of the street was a watch which had stopped at 3:15--a discarded wallet--a set of car keys--a waded up piece of paper and, curiously, a tube of lipstick.<br />
<br />
"Yeah, I think he might be dead, Frank," I…
"Maybe he's dead," my Neanderthal look-alike partner in the South Side homicide division --and friend grunted, looking down at the body. "Did anyone check for a pulse?"<br />
<br />
A bullet hole about the size of a Pullman car had been drilled through the man's chest at close range. Lying on the hot cement of the street was a watch which had stopped at 3:15--a discarded wallet--a set of car keys--a waded up piece of paper and, curiously, a tube of lipstick.<br />
<br />
"Yeah, I think he might be dead, Frank," I nodded, grinning. "Maybe . . . you know . . . since we're cops we ought to find out who did it."<br />
<br />
"Oh. Yeah . . . there's that. Sure. Say! When's lunch?" I felt the passing of the bul…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-20:537324:Comment:1946682009-04-20T17:13:37.163Zsteve reederhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/stevereeder
I felt the passing of the bullets and tried to quicken my pace, but the sand was thick and soft, dragging harder at my feet with every yard I gained. My lungs were on fire and I could hear my heart pounding desperately in my ears. A third shot, closer this time, slapped passed my left shoulder as I reached the dubious cover of the bush and sank gratefully to my knees behind it.
I felt the passing of the bullets and tried to quicken my pace, but the sand was thick and soft, dragging harder at my feet with every yard I gained. My lungs were on fire and I could hear my heart pounding desperately in my ears. A third shot, closer this time, slapped passed my left shoulder as I reached the dubious cover of the bush and sank gratefully to my knees behind it. I like this one.tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-20:537324:Comment:1946512009-04-20T16:49:18.241ZminervaKhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/minervakoenig
I like this one.
I like this one. "He's not wearing lipstick, i…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-20:537324:Comment:1946482009-04-20T16:46:06.548ZminervaKhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/minervakoenig
"He's not wearing lipstick, is he?" I asked Watson.<br />
<br />
"No, but there's a smudge on this grocery list," my partner said, straightening up. The dead man at her feet held an empty wallet and keys up to her in mute supplication, looking for all the world as if he was about to get into a car floating above him. "How do you figure he ended up like that?"<br />
<br />
"Flash-frozen on his way to buy a new watch?" I suggested, eyeing the ancient timepiece on his wrist, which was stopped at 3:15.
"He's not wearing lipstick, is he?" I asked Watson.<br />
<br />
"No, but there's a smudge on this grocery list," my partner said, straightening up. The dead man at her feet held an empty wallet and keys up to her in mute supplication, looking for all the world as if he was about to get into a car floating above him. "How do you figure he ended up like that?"<br />
<br />
"Flash-frozen on his way to buy a new watch?" I suggested, eyeing the ancient timepiece on his wrist, which was stopped at 3:15. If posters are being given aw…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-19:537324:Comment:1944882009-04-19T21:59:23.705ZJ. F. Juzwikhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Crimewriter
If posters are being given away, I'll take one of Sean Connery at any stage of his life; actually, I prefer him older. That one ages like a fine wine.
If posters are being given away, I'll take one of Sean Connery at any stage of his life; actually, I prefer him older. That one ages like a fine wine. She's cool. I love her hair.…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2009-04-19:537324:Comment:1944832009-04-19T21:08:28.593ZDebbi Mackhttp://crimespace.ning.com/profile/DebbiMack
She's cool. I love her hair. (That famous Veronica Lake look.) Speaking of women, how about Barbara Stanwyck? I'd take a poster of her. She was awesome.
She's cool. I love her hair. (That famous Veronica Lake look.) Speaking of women, how about Barbara Stanwyck? I'd take a poster of her. She was awesome.