Listening to More Than Words

[Peg Herring]

I mentioned in an earlier blog that we must learn to listen to more than the words that are spoken. Last night the Presidential candidates were answering a question about the environment put to them by Katie Couric . She asked if they believe the global warning issue has been over-hyped. Without listening at all to their answers, a person could predict what the words would be. Listening to their tone of voice was much more revealing.

No political candidate is going to say that an issue that scares the pants off so many Americans is not important. But the tone of the response indicated that some of them aren't so sure that global warming is real. Whether you fear global warming or not, listening beyond the words reveals what you want to know as a voter.

Parents who know the secret of listening hear the avoidance in their children's voices when they skirt subjects that make them nervous. Spouses and lovers who tune in note a lack of interest in certain subjects, like redoing the living room or buying a Harley in the spring. Wise employees hear in the boss' voice a tone of irritation when they ask to leave early for the third time this month.

Why is it that so many of us don't listen beyond the words? Our child says he didn't do anything interesting last night. Our spouse says, "Uh-huh" in regard to the big spring project. And the boss says okay to the early departure. Many people leave those scenarios thinking they've gotten what they wanted. Why? They didn't listen. Why not? Maybe because it's easier to accept the words. Certainly they can claim later that those words were spoken. "He said I could go!" But those non-listeners should be prepared for future problems, because words don't mean nearly as much as some of us would like to pretend.