“Did it bother you that Pres made porn movies?”
“Yeah, some, but I figured it was his life and if that worked for him it wasn’t up to me to say anything.”
“Maybe you should have Cary. Or were you afraid he’d take it the wrong way and think you were, humm not sure jealous is the right word but you know what I’m getting at.”
“That I cared because I cared for him as more than a friend.” A frown creased his forehead.
Tabitha nodded. “Think about that while I ask my next question.” She held up a hand to forestall him from saying anything yet. “I’ve listened to all your reasons for living with Hugh and all your alibis about why you can’t say that you love him. So, the question is, is that because somewhere deep down inside you know that you’re in love with Pres.”
Cary was about to shake his head ‘no’, but then decided to give her question the attention it merited. Was that why, or was it because in some ways he and Hugh were just so different? Sure they were great in bed but that was hardly the basis for a lasting relationship. Hugh seemed to have an overwhelming need to take care of him, like making certain dinner was ready when he got home and doing his best to calm him down if he looked like he was getting upset about something. He didn’t really mind coming home to hot meal since, usually, Hugh got off work long before he did. What he did mind was when the man got pissed if he wasn’t hungry or when he didn’t notice something Hugh had done for him that in Hugh’s eyes made his life easier.
He smiled to himself when the though crossed his mind that if it were Pres they’d be sharing all the chores. Pres wasn’t one to take everything on his own shoulders. He was stubborn like that. Share and share alike seemed to be his motto whenever they did anything together, the way two friends would. Or the way someone who cared would rather than trying to bind the other person to them until they felt as if they were smothering under the attention.
He loved that about Pres. The two of them seemed to mesh in so many ways and yet they each accepted their differences too. That was what good friends did. And people who loved each other.
Now he smiled at Tabitha as the realization began to sink in. “I do love him.”
“And about damned time you admitted it. Now you just have to tell him. He needs to know, even more so now.”
“And I have to tell Hugh.” He shuddered at the thought of doing that and how much it would hurt Hugh.
“He won’t like it,” Tabitha said, reading the emotions that flicked across his face. “But you have to do what’s right.”
“I know, for Pres.”
She swatted his arm. “No you dummy, for you and Pres. Your feelings are just as important as his. Hugh will be upset but if he does love you he’ll understand eventually and want what’s best for you. And that my dear man is Pres.”