The Virginia Tech killings were extremely upsetting for me.
I lived in Denver during the Columbine attack and then relocated to the mountains. After seven years of living in Bailey, a monster came into our little town and entered Platte Canyon High School on a perfect September Day. I remember it being perfect, because the sky was so blue as I stood on my porch and watched Flight For Life fly directly overhead with little Emily Keyes. I knew she was badly off, and I tried to pray, but what can you do? So many kids were saved that day, and I guess I knew we had probably reached our quota by the time the asshole had decided to shoot her. And the words were useless anyway, because emotion was the only thing left.
Three miles away from me, and all I could do was watch hour after hour of every assault vehicle, cop car and army equipment zoom by heading to help. Follow every second on the Net and CNN with the rest of you, and try to absorb that it was actually happening in the building I do my water exercises at. Then a week later, the Amish children...
It's been a horrible 8 months, and the kids here are still suffering from the wounds inflicted. A young man I know can't let his mom go into a store with out him following in 5 minutes, seeking her out to make sure she is okay and nobody has hurt her while he was in the car.
The sexual assault element has ripped away their innocence in a particularly gruesome fashion. Boys feel unearned guilt because they wish they had rushed him, even if they got killed in the process, poor sweet, little men, and you can't convince them that they did the right thing by not putting themselves in harm's way. Little girls now worry that a rapist can enter and inflict the worst that they can imagine could happen to them. And this at a time when all they should be thinking about is prom dresses and where THEY should go for college.
Now another has occured and I watch the fear, almost set aside in time for celebration and graduation, come back to haunt them. I wonder if they will ever heal.
So I waited a few days to write anything here about it. I am holding Virginia Tech at an arm's length right now, because I don't know where to put the emotions I am feeling. And when the killer is dead at the end, you don't even have someone to rage at. So, I'm just venting a bit for the first time since Va. Tech was attacked.
Thanks for listening.