so a severed head rolls across the floor and hits your foot. you look down and say, "Jesus!"

or not.

i'm editing page proofs, and i noticed that three of my characters use the same Jesus exclamation in different dramatic situations. this must stop. what would you say if a severed head rolled across the floor in front of you?

holy shit!

holy crap!


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Especially the Hardboiled Jesus.
In On Writing, Stephen King talks about a girl he knew in high school, a girl who became one of the inspirations for Carrie:

...One day her mother hired me to move some furniture. Dominating the trailer's living room was a nearly life-sized crucufied Jesus, eyes turned up, mouth turned down, blood dribbling from beneath the crown of thorns on his head. He was naked except for a rag twisted around his hips and loins. Above this bit of breechclout were the hollowed belly and the jutting ribs of a concentration-camp inmate...The pain had drivien him out of his mind. You could see it on his face. If that guy came back, he probably wouldn't be in a saving mood....

I just love that for some reason.
Why would kids want to worship a CD?
I don't know. I'd at least hold out for an x-box game.
Me too!
"Mom? You're here?"

seriously though I am fond of a simple "FUCK!"

It's a good expression of surprise too.
seriously though I am fond of a simple "FUCK!"

yeah, guys always say that.
seriously though I am fond of a simple "FUCK!"

if ning allowed signature lines, that would be my new one.

and there are tons here to choose from.

karyn, you could use your hair looks nice today.
If it was a severed head/horrific sight, I think there would be a stuttered - oh....w-w-what.....oh god (shriek)
this thread is hilarious!

if you've just popped in, you have to read every single comment. they're all funny as hell!

thanks, crimespacers!

and sandra, yes, google ads do reflect the post. i'm signing up for the jesus ringtone right now!!
What the hell is a Jesus ringtone? "Hi, this is Jesus. Answer your damn phone."
Doesn't he just say that God is calling you?


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