Do you need to see the nemesis early in thrillers? - CrimeSpace2024-03-29T00:06:34Zhttps://crimespace.ning.com/forum/topics/537324:Topic:66211?commentId=537324%3AComment%3A66484&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI don't think you need to rev…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-24:537324:Comment:665002007-08-24T14:33:18.468ZStephen Blackmoorehttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/sblackmoore
I don't think you need to reveal him, but I think you need to show him. And there are a lot of ways to do that. A car speeding from the scene that the protagonist loses in traffic, some hint as to his identity but not enough to figure it out.<br />
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At the very least I think there needs to be something showing him in the beginning. It sets the stage for the wider conflict between him and your protagonist.
I don't think you need to reveal him, but I think you need to show him. And there are a lot of ways to do that. A car speeding from the scene that the protagonist loses in traffic, some hint as to his identity but not enough to figure it out.<br />
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At the very least I think there needs to be something showing him in the beginning. It sets the stage for the wider conflict between him and your protagonist. Good one! :) It could of cour…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-24:537324:Comment:664842007-08-24T13:54:13.742ZI. J. Parkerhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Ingpark
Good one! :) It could of course have been an old family axe that had great significance to the perpetrator. There's an opportunity here to delve into the past.
Good one! :) It could of course have been an old family axe that had great significance to the perpetrator. There's an opportunity here to delve into the past. Unfortunately, it's coming up…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-24:537324:Comment:664452007-08-24T08:05:38.056ZVincent Holland-Keenhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/fiskerton
Unfortunately, it's coming up with a satisfying reason - not too mundane, not too predictable - that stymies most of my writing, but that would apply to the motive more than the rustiness.<br />
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"But why a rusty axe?" I asked, shaking my head.<br />
<br />
Theodore Plank did not answer straight away. He leaned back in his chair and sipped at his tea whilst watching pedestrians passing-by outside the café window. Then his cup clinked back down on its saucer and he stared at a point two inches to the left of my…
Unfortunately, it's coming up with a satisfying reason - not too mundane, not too predictable - that stymies most of my writing, but that would apply to the motive more than the rustiness.<br />
<br />
"But why a rusty axe?" I asked, shaking my head.<br />
<br />
Theodore Plank did not answer straight away. He leaned back in his chair and sipped at his tea whilst watching pedestrians passing-by outside the café window. Then his cup clinked back down on its saucer and he stared at a point two inches to the left of my nose.<br />
<br />
"The pain," he replied. "A pristine blade cuts clean and true. A rusty blade... it's like you - unfit for purpose. It snags on the flesh, its blunt edge splinters bone but does not break it, not the first time, not the second. You have to keep hacking, again and again and the blood and skin does not slide from the metal, it clings... clings to the rust... clings as if grateful for..."<br />
<br />
Plank's voice trailed off and his gaze fell away. I was suddenly aware of the sounds of the café again: the conversation at the table to my right, the clunk of the cash register drawer, the coffee percolating behind the counter. That these sounds continued on, innocuous, heedless of the would-be murderer in front of me, made my skin crawl almost as much as the way Plank's eyes rolled back and forth in the sockets. Finally his eyes became still, their focus fixed on the plate set down in front of me.<br />
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"You haven't touched your donut," he remarked. Thanks to you all for your co…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-24:537324:Comment:663892007-08-24T01:45:31.706ZNaomi Hiraharahttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/gasagasagirl
Thanks to you all for your comments. You've pushed me to consider putting the nemesis in the first installment. I think that I'll put him at the end, but make the specifics of his intentions, etc., a little mysterious.<br />
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To tell you the truth, I don't know if it's going to make a lick of sense (sorry, Vonnegut) because I'm going to be jumping in time and place. That's the beauty of this lickety-split serial writing. It's a nice complement to slow germination of the novel (I'm using six different…
Thanks to you all for your comments. You've pushed me to consider putting the nemesis in the first installment. I think that I'll put him at the end, but make the specifics of his intentions, etc., a little mysterious.<br />
<br />
To tell you the truth, I don't know if it's going to make a lick of sense (sorry, Vonnegut) because I'm going to be jumping in time and place. That's the beauty of this lickety-split serial writing. It's a nice complement to slow germination of the novel (I'm using six different POVs in that one with each character with her own alternating chapter--again, thanks for the advice).<br />
<br />
I'll be posting details on the serial on my page in mid-September, so come visit if you're interested in what I come up with. If you're releasing the story…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-23:537324:Comment:663692007-08-23T23:27:18.133ZAngiehttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/slackerwriter
If you're releasing the story in installments, you've got to hook your reader right away and leave them with a hook at the end. Some of the early film and radio serials were great at doing this. Anyway, I'd show the poisoning right away, but you don't have to explicitly point out that Suzie/Stevie Q is the nemesis until a bit later.
If you're releasing the story in installments, you've got to hook your reader right away and leave them with a hook at the end. Some of the early film and radio serials were great at doing this. Anyway, I'd show the poisoning right away, but you don't have to explicitly point out that Suzie/Stevie Q is the nemesis until a bit later. Hmm. None of the examples I m…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-23:537324:Comment:663632007-08-23T22:23:47.313ZChrista M. Millerhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/christammiller
Hmm. None of the examples I mentioned do that (that I remember). Is it a new thing in the genre? Am I confusing my mysteries and thrillers to too great an extent?
Hmm. None of the examples I mentioned do that (that I remember). Is it a new thing in the genre? Am I confusing my mysteries and thrillers to too great an extent? Like I.J. said, you can show…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-23:537324:Comment:663622007-08-23T22:02:33.405ZJude Hardinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/festus
Like I.J. said, you can show what he's up to while maintaining some mystery about his identity. Maybe he has a nickname for himself, like "The Storyteller" in James Patterson's <i>Mary, Mary</i>. In that book, we get to see the dirty deeds from the villain's POV, but are still surprised by his identity in the end.
Like I.J. said, you can show what he's up to while maintaining some mystery about his identity. Maybe he has a nickname for himself, like "The Storyteller" in James Patterson's <i>Mary, Mary</i>. In that book, we get to see the dirty deeds from the villain's POV, but are still surprised by his identity in the end. Really? I was thinking about…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-23:537324:Comment:663562007-08-23T21:47:33.556ZChrista M. Millerhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/christammiller
Really? I was thinking about "classic" thrillers I have read (which have a lot in common with "classic" mysteries") - the bad guy doesn't get revealed till very close to the end. GORKY PARK and THE MOSCOW CLUB are two examples (yes, I admit my reading is limited in this area). In the latter, especially, the protag is busy trying to save his own life while figuring out who killed his colleagues and is still after him.<br />
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Of course, those are two older examples. But more recent ones would include…
Really? I was thinking about "classic" thrillers I have read (which have a lot in common with "classic" mysteries") - the bad guy doesn't get revealed till very close to the end. GORKY PARK and THE MOSCOW CLUB are two examples (yes, I admit my reading is limited in this area). In the latter, especially, the protag is busy trying to save his own life while figuring out who killed his colleagues and is still after him.<br />
<br />
Of course, those are two older examples. But more recent ones would include Julia Spencer-Fleming's "cozy-cum-thrillers." I think if it's well-done, depending on whether it was supposed to be a "whodunit" type thriller vs. a "howget'em" type, editors won't care where the bad guy shows up. In Dustin Hoffman's Rainman v…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-23:537324:Comment:663472007-08-23T21:18:38.405ZJude Hardinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/festus
<i>In Dustin Hoffman's</i> Rainman <i>voice</i>:<br />
<br />
Yeah. 'Course we have rusty axes on Tuesday...
<i>In Dustin Hoffman's</i> Rainman <i>voice</i>:<br />
<br />
Yeah. 'Course we have rusty axes on Tuesday... It really raises the question…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-08-23:537324:Comment:663412007-08-23T21:12:42.094ZI. J. Parkerhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Ingpark
It really raises the question why the axe is rusty. Apparently great significance attaches to this. Let me see you come up with a satisfying reason. :)
It really raises the question why the axe is rusty. Apparently great significance attaches to this. Let me see you come up with a satisfying reason. :)