Evil Kev's Posts - CrimeSpace2024-03-29T07:05:57ZEvil Kevhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/EvilKevhttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/60986367?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://crimespace.ning.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=EvilKev&xn_auth=no26th annual Shamus Awards Nomineestag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-07-14:537324:BlogPost:549022007-07-14T03:30:03.000ZEvil Kevhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/EvilKev
From the <a href="http://therapsheet.blogspot.com/2007/07/eye-yi-yi.html">Rap Sheet</a>, The Private Eye Writers of America announced its nominees for the 26th annual Shamus Awards today.<br/><br/>
<br />
The multitalented Ken Bruen, winner in 2004 for "The Guards", has been nominated this year for his book "The Dramatist". A great honor for a great man.<br/><br/>
<br />
I would like to toast all of the award nominees as well. I look forward to reading your work.
From the <a href="http://therapsheet.blogspot.com/2007/07/eye-yi-yi.html">Rap Sheet</a>, The Private Eye Writers of America announced its nominees for the 26th annual Shamus Awards today.<br/><br/>
<br />
The multitalented Ken Bruen, winner in 2004 for "The Guards", has been nominated this year for his book "The Dramatist". A great honor for a great man.<br/><br/>
<br />
I would like to toast all of the award nominees as well. I look forward to reading your work.A genre is born: Feline Noirtag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-06-30:537324:BlogPost:515472007-06-30T02:40:45.000ZEvil Kevhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/EvilKev
A CAT'S TAIL<br />
<br></br><br></br>
I knew it was going to be bad when I found the head at the bottom of the stairs.<br />
<br></br><br></br>
“The neighbors reported hearing a scuffle, then a scream, then nothing.” The uniform paused to flip the page in his notebook. “Then they said they thought they saw a tall man with dark hair running off."<br />
<br></br><br></br>
I climbed to the top of the stairs and examined the body. She was wearing a long housecoat and other than missing a head, looked rather peaceful. There was some…
A CAT'S TAIL<br />
<br/><br/>
I knew it was going to be bad when I found the head at the bottom of the stairs.<br />
<br/><br/>
“The neighbors reported hearing a scuffle, then a scream, then nothing.” The uniform paused to flip the page in his notebook. “Then they said they thought they saw a tall man with dark hair running off."<br />
<br/><br/>
I climbed to the top of the stairs and examined the body. She was wearing a long housecoat and other than missing a head, looked rather peaceful. There was some evidence of the reported scuffle, a broken fingernail and some bruising on what was left of her neck.<br />
<br/><br/>
“Detective Taylor, we’ve found something.”<br />
<br/><br/>
I walked toward the Crime Scene Tech in the adjoining room. He pointed to a six-inch butcher knife on the floor, a thick layer of blood coated the knife. As I looked up, I noted the broken window and the splintered glass underneath the window frame. It was starting to come together.<br />
<br/><br/>
“Well, it looks like the perp entered through this window and…”<br />
<br/><br/>
A shrill meow behind me broke my concentration and I instinctively looked back. A uniformed officer was holding a black cat, a gold badge dangling from the cat’s neck.<br />
<br/><br/>
‘Son of a bitch.’<br />
<br/><br/>
“Lt. Puss Puss, I didn’t know you were coming down here”<br />
<br/><br/>
Merrooow, Meow, Meow.<br />
<br/><br/>
“Sir, I think it is too early to question anyone, we don’t even have a suspect.”<br />
<br/><br/>
Hiss, Meow, Merrooow.<br />
<br/><br/>
“I understand it’s the mayor’s daughter, but we need to take our time to be certain we get the right person.”<br />
<br/><br/>
Merrooow, Meow, Meow, Merrooow, Meow.<br />
<br/><br/>
I turned away. ‘Fucking affirmative action. What kind of idiot would think that we don’t have enough cats in management positions? I mean the last crime that fucking cat solved was finding missing cookies.’<br />
<br/><br/>
“With all due respect sir”, the sneer was evident in my voice, “ I find it hard to believe that she was killed because of an argument over a catnip mouse.”<br />
<br/><br/>
Hiss, Hiss, Merrooow, Hiss.<br />
<br/><br/>
“Insubordination! I’ll show up fucking insubordination!” I grabbed Lt. Puss Puss and threw him out the window. “Let’s see if you can fly, you little fucker.”<br />
<br/><br/>
Well as luck would have it, Puss Puss landed on the murderer, who was hiding out in the bushes under the window. After a brief struggle, a seriously scratched up perp was arrested by two uniforms.<br />
<br/><br/>
Now Lt. Puss Puss was given a medal for heroism for catching the murderer and promoted to Captain.<br />
<br/><br/>
And my reward? I now walk a beat in bum town and think of all of the ways to skin a cat.By Request: B-List Author Bluestag:crimespace.ning.com,2007-04-01:537324:BlogPost:166852007-04-01T19:56:45.000ZEvil Kevhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/EvilKev
<p>All this talk about BSP reminded of a little story I wrote for no particular reason. I have decided to share it for no particular reason. I put one disclaimer on it. I have no issue with cozies, quite popular I understand. So read it if you want and feel free to make any comments. I'll just ignore the ones I don't like.</p>
<br />
B-LIST AUTHOR BLUES<br />
<br></br><br></br>
“That book’s not very good.”<br />
<br></br><br></br>
I set down my copy of my favorite author's latest work, autographed just five minutes before,…
<p>All this talk about BSP reminded of a little story I wrote for no particular reason. I have decided to share it for no particular reason. I put one disclaimer on it. I have no issue with cozies, quite popular I understand. So read it if you want and feel free to make any comments. I'll just ignore the ones I don't like.</p>
<br />
B-LIST AUTHOR BLUES <br />
<br/><br/>
“That book’s not very good.” <br />
<br/><br/>
I set down my copy of my favorite author's latest work, autographed just five minutes before, on the single clean section of the bar and turned to look at him. <br />
<br/><br/>
“It’s a pale comparison to other books in the genre and grammatically, it is jagged and incoherent.” <br />
<br/><br/>
A sneer appeared on my face as I stared at him. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Now this is an excellent book”. He then reached into his bag, produced a book and handed it to me. <br />
<br/><br/>
“I’m sure you recognize me. I write the ‘Talbot McDonald’ mystery series. He is a butler who, with the gardener Regan Shamus, solve crimes that the police can’t figure out.” <br />
<br/><br/>
“It is the sixth one in the series”. He proudly said. <br />
<br/><br/>
I took it and glanced at the back cover plot synopsis. Typical faire: Missing kid, incompetent police, only the butler can figure it out. <br />
<br/><br/>
Unimpressed, I set it down in front of me. <br />
<br/><br/>
I turned back to the bar and took three long sips of my drink, stopping after each to look as if I was going to speak but then returned to the drink. Once the glass was empty, I looked back at him. <br />
<br/><br/>
The self-satisfied smirk had disappeared from his face. <br />
<br/><br/>
“I need that back.” He said as he reached for the book. <br />
<br/><br/>
I returned it to him and he put it back in his bag. <br />
<br/><br/>
“But you can have a bookmark.” He pulled out a huge stack of bookmarks with a fat red elastic band surrounding them, pulled one out and it handed it to me. I looked at it, both sides covered with lavish praise from other people I had never heard of as well. <br />
<br/><br/>
I put the bookmark on the bar, ordered another Boilermaker and opened my book back to where I left off. I hoped that my lack of interest in him would encourage him to leave. <br />
<br/><br/>
But no such luck. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Don’t you think there are too many police procedures out there today?” <br />
<br/><br/>
I continued to stare at the pages, hoping he would get the hint. I had waited over a year for this book and was not interested in his commentary. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Over the past five years, it seems every where I turn I see police procedures and nasty hard boiled books. Whatever happened to amateur sleuth? This was a cornerstone of mystery literature for years.” <br />
<br/><br/>
He paused as the bartender walked by. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Excuse me.” He leaned slightly forward. “You still have not brought my Martini yet. Don’t you realize who I am?” <br />
<br/><br/>
The bartender looked at him disinterestedly. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Sorry, should I?” <br />
<br/><br/>
He reached in his bag and pulled out his book. He held it up like a one of those product models posing with the latest drain cleaner. <br />
<br/><br/>
“It is the sixth one in the series”. He proudly said. <br />
<br/><br/>
“How interesting.” The bartender said sounding completely disinterested as he prepared the drink. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Oh yes, I like it shaken, not stirred.” He said as he put the book back in the bag. <br />
<br/><br/>
The bartender slid the drink over to him. “Here you go, Mr. Bond. That will be four eighty five.” <br />
<br/><br/>
He pulled out a five and slapped it on the bar in front of the bartender. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Keep the change.” <br />
<br/><br/>
He turned and looked back at me as the bartender gave him a ‘you cheap little prick’ look. I was convinced this guy was not trying to make friends. <br />
<br/><br/>
“So, are you at the conference too or did you just come for the signing?” <br />
<br/><br/>
I realized that ignoring this guy was not going work, so more drastic measures were going to be necessary. I closed my book, turned and looked intently at him. <br />
<br/><br/>
“Then you must have seen me at my panel. It was in the big room, you know.” He said smugly. <br />
<br/><br/>
When I failed to respond, he continued. <br />
<br/><br/>
“It was the panel to see. I was with some of the biggest names in the industry discussing the future of the mystery genre.” <br />
<br/><br/>
I began to intensify the stare. <br />
<br/><br/>
“So what are you doing here?“ His eyes lit up and he started to reach into his bag. “If you’re a reviewer or interviewer, then you are in luck. I have an ARC of my next book and I’m told I give great interviews.” <br />
<br/><br/>
I shook my head. <br />
<br/><br/>
This appeared to really disappoint him and he set his bag down on the floor. He returned to his drink and swallowed it in a single gulp. He motioned to the bartender for another, but it appeared he was being ignored. <br />
<br/><br/>
“I don’t get me started on these hard-boiled books. What’s the appeal with graphic and casual violence?” <br />
<br/><br/>
I then stood up and set down a twenty to cover the bill. I began to walk by, but then turned and slammed his head into the bar. He fell off his stool and landed on the floor with a dull thud. <br />
<br/><br/>
“How that for casual violence, you moron” I said and walked out of the bar. <br />
<br/><br/>