Geoff McGeachin's Posts - CrimeSpace2024-03-29T08:21:18ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachinhttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/60988679?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://crimespace.ning.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=fif6wdzucgbl&xn_auth=noThat makes 2!tag:crimespace.ning.com,2013-09-10:537324:BlogPost:3779472013-09-10T08:17:53.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
<p>By Golly, nothing posted here since I won the Australian Crime Writers Association's Ned Kelly Award for Best Crime Fiction in 2011 for THE DIGGERS REST HOTEL. Not a lot happening since then apart from me writing a sequel entitled BLACKWATTLE CREEK and on Saturday last it won the 2013 Ned Kelly Award for Best Crime Fiction. <br></br><a href="http://www.austcrimewriters.com/content/2013-ned-kelly-awards">http://www.austcrimewriters.com/content/2013-ned-kelly-awards</a></p>
<p>I lack both a…</p>
<p>By Golly, nothing posted here since I won the Australian Crime Writers Association's Ned Kelly Award for Best Crime Fiction in 2011 for THE DIGGERS REST HOTEL. Not a lot happening since then apart from me writing a sequel entitled BLACKWATTLE CREEK and on Saturday last it won the 2013 Ned Kelly Award for Best Crime Fiction. <br/><a href="http://www.austcrimewriters.com/content/2013-ned-kelly-awards">http://www.austcrimewriters.com/content/2013-ned-kelly-awards</a></p>
<p>I lack both a personal publicist and the RPL gene (relentless self promoter) but I thought I should probably make some noise. Curse this Anglo-Saxon restraint, I wish I was Italian.</p>
<p>A third book in the series, ST KILDA BLUES will be published by Penguin in 2014.</p>NEDS HEAD.tag:crimespace.ning.com,2011-09-02:537324:BlogPost:3131122011-09-02T23:22:52.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
<p><br></br>On the same day they finally indentified Ned Kelly’s decapitated skeleton I wound up in Melbourne with his head. Well not Kelly's still missing skull exactly but a miniature version of the outlaws famous iron helmet. It’s what they give you when you win a Ned Kelly award. When I first saw the long list for the 2011 Neds the last thing on my mind was going to Melbourne. The list always has some heavy hitters, including previous winners, but this year there were more than a few. Getting…</p>
<p><br/>On the same day they finally indentified Ned Kelly’s decapitated skeleton I wound up in Melbourne with his head. Well not Kelly's still missing skull exactly but a miniature version of the outlaws famous iron helmet. It’s what they give you when you win a Ned Kelly award. When I first saw the long list for the 2011 Neds the last thing on my mind was going to Melbourne. The list always has some heavy hitters, including previous winners, but this year there were more than a few. Getting shortlisted was a thrill but there were still those day and evening teaching commitments around the awards night date.</p>
<p><br/>Then a couple weeks back I was told The Diggers Rest Hotel had won the Ned for Best Fiction but was sworn to secrecy, which is a bastard. Jason Steger from The Age rang me at Sydney airport for an interview while we were waiting for our plane and I had a moment of real confusion as to whether or not I should actually be speaking to him. Penguin were flying me down from Sydney for the night and providing a hotel room which was nice because Melbourne can sometimes be a cold, cold town and no place for sleeping rough. I should know because I grew up there.</p>
<p><br/>No lack of warmth though upstairs at Toff In Town in Curtin House where the Crime Writers Association of Australia was holding its 2011 bunfight. It’s an odd building, dating from the early 1900’s with the nondescript entrance currently sandwiched between an Asian noodle shop and a 24-hour convenience store. The place has been at times both a gentleman club and the headquarters of the Australian Communist Party and I’m guessing there wasn’t much of a crossover. It reminded me a bit of Sebastian’s, a 1960’s disco on the corner of Spring and Flinders streets. That’s showing my age and even more so when I had to Google 60’s Melbourne Discos to track down the name.</p>
<p><br/>It was a new venue and new format for the Neds but as it was my first time I had no frame of reference. I met Ben Ball my publisher in the bar across the hall, caught up with some old friends and was then crash-tackled by author/publisher Lindy Cameron in the main room. When Lindy hugs a bloke you know you’ve been hugged – that goes for women too. Besides all the hugging I knew I was in the right place by the general air of confusion and occasional chronic male dishevellelment on display – crimewriterland in all its glory. But like I said, warm and also gently comforting, like the barrel of a just fired Smith & Wesson .38 police special …. Oops, sorry.</p>
<p><br/>Jane Clifton kicked off the evening and Andrew Rule of Underbelly fame gave the inaugural Ned Kelly Oration on the subject of ‘Sex, Death and Betrayal’. At this point I got a bit nervous about the upcoming speech in my part of the proceeding so most of what he said went over my head. That usually doesn’t happen when SEX is in the title of anything.</p>
<p><br/>With only four awards to give out they split that part of the event in two. Best First Fiction went to Alan Carter for Prime Cut and the S.D. Harvey Short Story Award to A.S. Patric for Hemisphere Travel Guides: Las Vegas For Vegans. I actually entered the S.D. Harvey’s this year but I guess I really can’t complain about not getting a run.</p>
<p><br/>There was a musical interlude by a group called Acts of Violence who changed their name as they walked on stage, and then invited the crowd to talk amongst themselves during their performance. They got their wish in spades. Lindy Cameron came back and pinched some bloke’s seat so she could bend my ear about her new publishing venture Clan Destine Press which is apparently going gangbusters. She took a photograph of Wilma and myself and since I had been crook for a week with some odd lurgi I had a fair idea it would look pretty grim. Wilma always looks great in photos. I know some people will look at the snap and say they only gave me the Ned because I wasn’t long for this world.</p>
<p><br/>Back to business and the True Crime Ned went to Geesche Jacobson for Abandoned - The Sad Death of Dianne Brimble. This was a truly awful case and after Geesche’s somewhat somber acceptance speech Kirsten leaned across Wilma and whispered, ‘Let’s see you be funny after that.’ It’s great to have friends who kick you when you’re up.</p>
<p><br/>The Best Fiction Ned was announced by Justice Betty King, also of Underbelly fame who said some rather nice things about The Diggers Rest Hotel and its hero Charlie Berlin I went up on stage and apparently made a speech. Wilma said there was loud cheering from behind her that turned out to be a gang of editors from Penguin – it’s very Melbourne to have a cheer squad. </p>
<p><br/>Afterwards I got to meet a lot of rather nice people. Angela Savage and Chris Womersley who were the other short listees said some lovely things and I’m pretty sure they meant them. Angela has a ripper of a smile. I signed a lot of books and bits and pieces, got hugged by Lindy again and then we buggered off to the other bar. The cheer squad of Penguin editors was/were propping up the bar drinking longnecks and correcting grammar so we joined them. Wilma steered the conversation away from the vocative comma because there was real potential for things to get ugly.</p>
<p><br/>Things did get ugly at 5am when we had to get up for the 7.10 flight back to Sydney. I had a Ned, a sore head and the sudden realization that my name was now amongst that long list of heavy hitters. The second Charlie Berlin book is about to start the editing process so no pressure there.</p>
<p></p>
<p></p>SOMETHING FISHY?tag:crimespace.ning.com,2010-03-30:537324:BlogPost:2312702010-03-30T23:30:00.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
<br></br>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial">There is suddenly a bit of an online buzz about the TV movie "Mega Piranha." It’s showing on the SyFy channel in the US on April 10th and is about mutant Piranhas making their way from the Amazon to Florida and going on a killing spree.</span></p>
<br></br>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19px;">The tagline is: "They were…</span></p>
<br/>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial">There is suddenly a bit of an online buzz about the TV movie "Mega Piranha." It’s showing on the SyFy channel in the US on April 10th and is about mutant Piranhas making their way from the Amazon to Florida and going on a killing spree.</span></p>
<br/>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19px;">The tagline is: "They were created to save mankind. Something went wrong."</span></p>
<br/><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19px;">I seem to recall that my fourth book ‘DEAD AND KICKING’
which was published by Penguin in Australia in January 2009 and released soon after internationally as an audio book by Bolinda had a similar storyline. My fish were called Barrana, a Barramundi/Piranha cross intended to produce a large, delicious tasting (and voracious and thus fast growing) product to help ease world hunger. The developer ordered the plan scrapped and all the Barrana destroyed after it was found they were a little too boisterous for safe handling.<br/></span>
<font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><br/>
</font><p class="MsoNormal"></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial">But by golly some evildoer gets his hand on the breeding stock and plans to introduce them into the Northern Territory waterways during the Big Wet, thus flooding the rivers and oceans with these nasty creatures. This is intended to bring Australia’s love of all things aquatic to a sudden and bloody end - and might possibly mean the boys from Bondi Rescue could be reduced to working in telemarketing.</span></font></p>
<font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><br/>
</font><p class="MsoNormal"></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial">There are a lot of comments about the SyFy movie having a ludicrous premise but most reviewers seemed to thing I’d managed to pull it off in my book. And after Carl Hiaasen gave one of his characters in SKIN TIGHT who was missing a hand a Weed Whacker (Whippa Snippa to Aussies) as a replacement I figure the boundaries have been moved way out there.</span></font></p>
<font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><br/>
</font><p class="MsoNormal"></p>
<font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><br/>
</font><p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial">I’m not sure when the SyFy show will turn up in Oz but I’ll be watching it with interest, and with my attorney at my side. He’s half man/half Piranha and believe me the Piranha half is the nice part.</span></font></p>
<font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial, Arial, sans-serif"><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</font><p></p>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<p></p>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br/><br/><br/></span>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>FIRST THE VEGEMITE GOES MISSING…tag:crimespace.ning.com,2008-05-24:537324:BlogPost:1422742008-05-24T02:19:16.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
So here’s the story: I finish my latest book and shoot it off to the publisher and decide to check out what’s been happening on my website recently. A handy little piece of free software called STATCOUNTER lets me see who has been visiting and for how long and from whence they came.<br />
<br />
I’ve been getting hits from all sorts of amazing places which might have to do with the fact that the audio book of my first novel has been hijacked and can be downloaded for free from multiple sites. The print…
So here’s the story: I finish my latest book and shoot it off to the publisher and decide to check out what’s been happening on my website recently. A handy little piece of free software called STATCOUNTER lets me see who has been visiting and for how long and from whence they came.<br />
<br />
I’ve been getting hits from all sorts of amazing places which might have to do with the fact that the audio book of my first novel has been hijacked and can be downloaded for free from multiple sites. The print tile is FAT, FIFTY & F***ED! but these web pirates are asterisk averse and I pop up if people google that particular word.<br />
<br />
<br />
But suddenly folks in Arlington and Washington DC and environs are looking in. Plus people from US Navy's Naval Command Control & Ocean Surveillance Center and from SPAWAR (Space And Naval Warfare Systems Command). Mmmmm. My most recently published book had a plot involving a US Navy cruiser visiting Sydney and a couple of loaner nukes hijacked in Sydney harbour by members of the ships choir. Did I step on someone’s toes? Now I’m pretty sure when NSA and even more mysterious people look in on someone’s website they either don’t show up or appear as Ma & Pa Kettles Poodle Clipping Service and ISP from Broken Spoke, Wyoming. Or maybe this was just a couple of bored sailors from Pennsylvania wondering why someone would name a fictional American warship the USS Altoona.<br />
<br />
<br />
But there is also the matter of the missing Vegemite.<br />
<br />
Vegemite is the iconic Australian bread spread. A concentrated yeast extract, as in, ‘it’s 1930 and after we make all this great beer we have this revolting yeasty residue left over. Mmmmm, I wonder if it could be made into a thick, black, nourishing, salty spread that only an Aussie could love.’<br />
<br />
I’ve been chatting recently with an American crime writing blogger who couldn’t find any of my books in the US at a reasonable price so I offered to send him one. I figured why not send him both the spy thrillers and with a little bit of space left in the end of the envelope and since we’d been discussing Vegemite I stuck in a tube. Traditionally Vegemite comes in glass jars but shipping these to homesick Australian overseas was fraught with problems so now we have a plastic tube option. Bastard, I hear you cry, trying to buy favourable comment with a gift of Vegemite. Believe me, any time you want to get on the good side of a non-Oz book reviewer try money because you sure as hell won’t do it with a gift of Vegemite.<br />
<br />
I’m known for going off on strange tangents when I teach and here’s one;<br />
Vegemite was available for a long time in a kosher version. Kraft discontinued it a few years back to the consternation and disappointment of the Australian Jewish community. Then it was re-introduced and on a couple of white supremacist websites (yes, we have those, too) this was misconstrued as the Jews having forced Kraft to make ALL vegemite kosher. The outraged posters who swore off Vegemite forever were heavily outnumbered by those who decided that their principles would only stretch so far when it came to what to spread on their breakfast toast. Ya gotta love Australia.<br />
<br />
Back to the story. In an unusual moment of truthfulness for someone who writes fiction I listed the contents of the package as ‘Gifts - 2 books plus Vegemite.’ Now, I don't usually subscribe to conspiracy theories but there are some things you can't ignore: the parcel with an airmail sticker attached leaves Oz via Australia Post and eight week later is still undelivered. My website is visited by the US Navy and people in DC and Virginia. I buy a ticket in the most recent 30 million dollar Powerball lottery and do not win. Then I get the flu. Coincidence?<br />
<br />
Or perhaps there’s just some bored postal inspector somewhere with his feet up reading SENSITIVE NEW AGE SPY while eating Vegemite on a toasted, buttered bagel. Be warned -- I'll be watching my statcounter for hits from USPS.Have you ever killed a man with your bare hands?tag:crimespace.ning.com,2008-02-29:537324:BlogPost:1274502008-02-29T20:54:50.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
‘Have you ever killed a man with your bare hands?’<br />
<br />
‘I beg your pardon?’ I said.<br />
<br />
The publicist smiled. ‘Have you ever killed a man with your bare hands? You know, choked the life out him, crushed his windpipe, dug your fingers in till his larynx collapsed and the veins bulged out on his temple.’<br />
<br />
I shook my head. ‘No, sorry.’<br />
<br />
She smiled. ‘Garrotted anyone?’<br />
<br />
I shook my head again.<br />
<br />
‘Shot, perhaps,’ she suggested, ‘stabbed, disembowelled, beheaded, eviscerated. Run anyone down with a…
‘Have you ever killed a man with your bare hands?’<br />
<br />
‘I beg your pardon?’ I said.<br />
<br />
The publicist smiled. ‘Have you ever killed a man with your bare hands? You know, choked the life out him, crushed his windpipe, dug your fingers in till his larynx collapsed and the veins bulged out on his temple.’<br />
<br />
I shook my head. ‘No, sorry.’<br />
<br />
She smiled. ‘Garrotted anyone?’<br />
<br />
I shook my head again.<br />
<br />
‘Shot, perhaps,’ she suggested, ‘stabbed, disembowelled, beheaded, eviscerated. Run anyone down with a car?’<br />
<br />
‘Sadly, none of the above.’<br />
<br />
She moved her pen down the checklist.<br />
<br />
‘Been jailed, blackmailed, kidnapped, falsely accused of a major crime or committed a major crime and gotten away with it?’<br />
<br />
‘Still no, I’m afraid.’<br />
<br />
‘Are you now or have you ever been a forensic pathologist?’<br />
<br />
That shake of the head again.<br />
<br />
‘Ouch, too bad,’ she said. ‘A forensic anything? Or anything pathological? Psychopath, Osteopath, Naturopath? Vegan, vampire, vivisectionist? Been hooked on drugs, kinky sex, straight sex, sex on drugs, drug-free sex, sex-free sex?’<br />
<br />
‘Nope to all of those.’<br />
<br />
‘Do you have any unusual pets? Or pictures of yourself with celebrities? Got a famous girlfriend, boyfriend, penfriend? Any major illnesses, transplants? Get a kidney, gave a kidney? Do you eat kidneys? Ever escaped from almost certain death? Might you perhaps know an easy way to get stains out of carpets?’<br />
<br />
I could see the desperation building in her eyes.<br />
<br />
’For gods sake do you at least own a gerbil?’ she begged.<br />
<br />
‘It’s just me and the book,’ I said.<br />
<br />
‘And it’s a good book, perhaps even a great book but it’s not enough.’<br />
<br />
‘Really?’<br />
<br />
‘Goods books are a dime a dozen, or $19.95 with the tax, but we need more. We need more from you, we need a package. We need a hook, an angle. We need to tease the press, tempt them with your dark side, exploit your feminine side, market your smouldering good looks, your battered face, your bad boy ways, your sensuality, your confused sexuality, bi-sexuality, tri-sexuality, your coming to Christ, selling your soul to the devil, your days as a Broadway chorus boy. Don’t you get it, in publishing today the words just aren’t enough anymore.’<br />
<br />
I leapt the desk and she gasped, ‘What are you doing?’ as my fingers closed around her long, elegant neck.<br />
<br />
‘Writer strangles publicist,’ I grunted, squeezing tightly. ‘That should be worth a hard cover edition, with a minimum fifty thousand initial print run,’<br />
<br />
‘And don’t forget the foreign sales and film rights,’ she wheezed.<br />
<br />
Throbbing veins stood out on her temple and just as the light went out in her eyes she stared up at me and gasped, ‘It’s great to be working with a real professional.’Author-to-Authortag:crimespace.ning.com,2008-02-11:537324:BlogPost:1235662008-02-11T10:56:25.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
The rain finally took a rest today, which was great timing as I had a mid-morning appointment at Circular Quay, meeting Lindy Cameron to pick up a signed copy of REDBACK. We recently arranged an author-to-author book swap and Australia Post only got it 50% right. Lindy was up from Melbourne just in time for one of the wettest February weeks on record but she was privy to my secret listing of all the best Laksa spots in Sydney and Laksa is never weather dependant. Being Laksaholics was only one…
The rain finally took a rest today, which was great timing as I had a mid-morning appointment at Circular Quay, meeting Lindy Cameron to pick up a signed copy of REDBACK. We recently arranged an author-to-author book swap and Australia Post only got it 50% right. Lindy was up from Melbourne just in time for one of the wettest February weeks on record but she was privy to my secret listing of all the best Laksa spots in Sydney and Laksa is never weather dependant. Being Laksaholics was only one of the many things we have in common.<br />
<br />
It was great to put a face to the name, introduce our respective partners and have a really interesting chat over coffee at a table halfway between the Sydney Opera House and the harbour bridge. The ferries came and went, the didgeridoo player did his thing and thankfully there were no bagpiping buskers operating in opposition. Lindy and I found we now share a common disquiet about showing up at any US port of entry following some of our more recent esoteric Google searches. We decided if we only get one phone call we’d make it to each other. ‘Hi Geoff, it’s Lindy I’m in Gitmo…”<br />
<br />
Lindy had a great photo to show me. They took a cruise on the harbour a few days back and the sun suddenly broke through the overcast to reveal an 80,000-ton car carrier sailing past Fort Denison island in the middle of the harbour. Replace the car carrier with a hijacked LNG tanker and that is pretty much the opening scene of SENSITIVE NEW AGE SPY that I’d mailed down to Lindy. She said she fell about laughing.<br />
<br />
Book covers, agents, publishers, deadlines were covered quick sticks and then ways to better promote Australian crime fiction and thriller writing both here and overseas. Damien at crimedownunder started that thread with a question on his current Author Snapshot project so he might deserve all the glory. The game’s afoot and now we need to see if it was just the caffeine talking.<br />
<br />
It’s a lot of fun to meet someone for the first time and feel like you’ve known them for years. And our partners also found they have a lot in common – they both have to put up with bloody writers.Would a nose by any other name smell as good?tag:crimespace.ning.com,2008-01-26:537324:BlogPost:1195512008-01-26T05:15:09.000ZGeoff McGeachinhttps://crimespace.ning.com/profile/GeoffMcGeachin
The name on the cover of my first book was Geoffrey McGeachin, as it was on the second. On the third book I was Geoff McGeachin and the same on the B format re-release of the second. I’ve had a long held belief that names are destiny. Vivian Westwood – fashion designer or dental hygienist? I’d buy any album put out by a guy named Ry Cooder but would I hire someone named Ry Cooder as my accountant?<br />
<br />
<br />
Geoff or Geoffrey? I knew an actor named something like Barry AwkwardtopronouceCzechname (not…
The name on the cover of my first book was Geoffrey McGeachin, as it was on the second. On the third book I was Geoff McGeachin and the same on the B format re-release of the second. I’ve had a long held belief that names are destiny. Vivian Westwood – fashion designer or dental hygienist? I’d buy any album put out by a guy named Ry Cooder but would I hire someone named Ry Cooder as my accountant?<br />
<br />
<br />
Geoff or Geoffrey? I knew an actor named something like Barry AwkwardtopronouceCzechname (not his real name). He discussed changing his moniker to improve career prospects and his friends, choosing their words carefully, agreed that perhaps it might be a good idea. So he came up with Edward AwkwardtopronouceCzechname.<br />
He is now a successful landscape gardener.<br />
<br />
<br />
My publisher didn’t seem to have any trouble with either Geoffrey or McGeachin on that first book, it was the title that was a bit tricky. FAT, FIFTY & F***ED! was how my main character described himself in the opening chapter and since I was going in a writing contest hoping to score an agent and a publishing deal it seemed like an attention getter. Must have worked since I got the agent and the publishing deal.<br />
<br />
<br />
My introduction to the book world was a surreal afternoon sipping Earl Grey tea out of fine bone china in the Sydney boardroom of Penguin while my agent and publisher, mature, elegant and sophisticated women both, discussed the use of the word F**K on a book cover at some length. And they didn’t use the asterisks. After considering the 27,000 alternatives I was forced to come up with they bit the bullet and went with it and Western Civilisation failed to collapse (watch for updates – may happen soon). The cover was mostly blue which may have been a wry commentary by the graphic designer.<br />
<br />
<br />
So the only possible marketing campaign was ‘From an author you’ve never heard of, with a name you’re not sure how to pronounce comes the book you’re too embarrassed to ask for!’ But it sold and still sells, possibly because men are turning 50 every day and people can be so cruel when it comes to birthday gifts. But for cruelty look no further than booksellers, especially the women. After publication I spoke to a number on how customers went about asking for the title and several gleefully told me they deliberately forced them to say F***ED! out loud. And without the asterisks.