Writing on the Road
Travel certainly inspires, but sadly some of the words that come to mind don't make for great literature. Here are the messages I would like to have sent yesterday, cleaned up a bit now that I'm removed from the situation:
The lady in the blue car: "If your call is important, pull over and talk to the person on the other end with the courtesy of giving him/her your full concentration. If it isn't, HANG UP and drive that car like you know where you are." (This message would have to have multiple CCs.)
The guy in the pickup: "Exactly what is your rationale for driving through rain and fog without lights? Is there something I don't understand about this that you can explain to me? Is it bravado? Energy conservation? Congenital idiocy?"
The dude in the Lexus: "I'm willing to stipulate that you are cool and your car is way, way faster than mine. I'll even admit that you are much more important than I am and your presence is required somewhere very soon or the world will stop spinning and roll off its axis. Now will you stop weaving in and out of traffic and putting us all in deadly peril?"
The couple in the camper: "I know you're going to enjoy your time in Florida, and you deserve every minute of it. Just stay in the right lane if you want to get there at fifty miles per hour, pretty please."
Finally, I have advice for anyone who must pull a fifth wheel, snowmobile trailer, U-Haul, or anything else when there is ice. "Right away, as soon as you notice ice, carefully pull over to the side of the road. Making sure the way is clear, move to the back of your vehicle, ever mindful of the slippery road. When you get back to where the trailer meets your bumper, be strong and resolute. Reach down, unhitch that sucker, and drive away.
I know it's hard, but you can come back for it later. You don't want it back there today, because nothing messes you up more on the ice. Take your loss like a man, and maybe you won't end up at the side of the road with the darned thing curled around your rear end with its wheels in the air.
The lady in the blue car: "If your call is important, pull over and talk to the person on the other end with the courtesy of giving him/her your full concentration. If it isn't, HANG UP and drive that car like you know where you are." (This message would have to have multiple CCs.)
The guy in the pickup: "Exactly what is your rationale for driving through rain and fog without lights? Is there something I don't understand about this that you can explain to me? Is it bravado? Energy conservation? Congenital idiocy?"
The dude in the Lexus: "I'm willing to stipulate that you are cool and your car is way, way faster than mine. I'll even admit that you are much more important than I am and your presence is required somewhere very soon or the world will stop spinning and roll off its axis. Now will you stop weaving in and out of traffic and putting us all in deadly peril?"
The couple in the camper: "I know you're going to enjoy your time in Florida, and you deserve every minute of it. Just stay in the right lane if you want to get there at fifty miles per hour, pretty please."
Finally, I have advice for anyone who must pull a fifth wheel, snowmobile trailer, U-Haul, or anything else when there is ice. "Right away, as soon as you notice ice, carefully pull over to the side of the road. Making sure the way is clear, move to the back of your vehicle, ever mindful of the slippery road. When you get back to where the trailer meets your bumper, be strong and resolute. Reach down, unhitch that sucker, and drive away.
I know it's hard, but you can come back for it later. You don't want it back there today, because nothing messes you up more on the ice. Take your loss like a man, and maybe you won't end up at the side of the road with the darned thing curled around your rear end with its wheels in the air.
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