My Dad's Wisdom
My dad was a high school dropout, but in those days it wasn't considered a problem. You went to school until you figured you'd got enough education, and then you went to work. His English was a little sloppy, lots of phrases like "I seen" and "he don't." I suppose that lowered some people's estimation of his intelligence, but I never met anyone any wiser than he was. And I'll take wisdom over intelligence any day.
Two things my dad tried to teach us stick with me and help me cope as I go along. First, Dad used to say that worrying is useless. "If what you worry about happens, you didn't prevent it by worrying. And if it doesn't happen, you wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about nothing." I know, that's a pretty obvious truth, but how many of us internalize it? We worry. We can't help worrying. Sometimes we even like to worry. But it doesn't change the future.
The other thing I learned from watching him operate, but at one point he explained his rationale. Dad gave things away and never thought about what it cost or whether he would be paid back. Now since he was a used car dealer, this was unusual behavior in his circle. If a person needed a car, he'd say "Take it. Drive it for a month or so. It may burn oil, so maybe you won't want it." One day we were talking about scams and people who take advantage of others, and he said, "I see it this way. If I give somebody something, that's my part of it. What he does with it is up to him. If he's dishonest, it doesn't change the fact that I did the right thing." He then explained that he took literally the Bible's command to "cast your bread upon the waters," believing that every good deed returns to you somehow. And putting the two ideas together, if you give something away, don't worry about where it goes, because it isn't yours once you've put it out there.
Those simple wisdoms are comforting as I deal with this crazy, crooked world. Giving without concern and living without worry make life much simpler, and who can't use more simplicity? Looking at my dad's life, it worked for him. He never got rich, but he never went hungry either. And when he died, the church couldn't hold the people who came to pay their respects to a man whose English wasn't proper but whose heart was always right.
Two things my dad tried to teach us stick with me and help me cope as I go along. First, Dad used to say that worrying is useless. "If what you worry about happens, you didn't prevent it by worrying. And if it doesn't happen, you wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about nothing." I know, that's a pretty obvious truth, but how many of us internalize it? We worry. We can't help worrying. Sometimes we even like to worry. But it doesn't change the future.
The other thing I learned from watching him operate, but at one point he explained his rationale. Dad gave things away and never thought about what it cost or whether he would be paid back. Now since he was a used car dealer, this was unusual behavior in his circle. If a person needed a car, he'd say "Take it. Drive it for a month or so. It may burn oil, so maybe you won't want it." One day we were talking about scams and people who take advantage of others, and he said, "I see it this way. If I give somebody something, that's my part of it. What he does with it is up to him. If he's dishonest, it doesn't change the fact that I did the right thing." He then explained that he took literally the Bible's command to "cast your bread upon the waters," believing that every good deed returns to you somehow. And putting the two ideas together, if you give something away, don't worry about where it goes, because it isn't yours once you've put it out there.
Those simple wisdoms are comforting as I deal with this crazy, crooked world. Giving without concern and living without worry make life much simpler, and who can't use more simplicity? Looking at my dad's life, it worked for him. He never got rich, but he never went hungry either. And when he died, the church couldn't hold the people who came to pay their respects to a man whose English wasn't proper but whose heart was always right.
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