Evil Guy Speaks

[Peg Herring]

I'm a really, really evil guy who opposes everything your good guy stands for. I want (the Holy Grail/ world domination/ hidden treasure/ other) so badly that I will do anything, absolutely anything, to get it.

Mr. Good Guy stands in my way, so I have decided to kill him. I've thought about this a lot, and I have a plan to (blow him up, run him off the road/slice off body parts until he's history/other) because I am really, really evil. Once I rid myself of him, I can (live like a king/take over the government/live forever/other) with no one to stop me. (Maniacal laughter here.)

But wait a minute! Mr. Good Guy has a (sister/wife/girlfriend/other) who is really hot. I mean hot! All of a sudden, everything I've worked my whole life to attain doesn't matter so much any more. I want her. In fact, I will allow everything else to slide while my plans for raping this one female take over my universe. And I will follow through, even if (there's a ticking bomb nearby/the police are everywhere/we're more than halfway up K-2 and it's 10 below zero/other). Of course I will not succeed. My lust will bring the end of me and all my plans. Despite all the wicked genius I possess, I'll be brought down because I couldn't keep my zipper up. But hey, it puts sex into the story, and if there's sex, someone will buy it. Right?

[Jon Loomis]

He wears a pink jacket and alligator shoes. Ruffles would have been a bit too foofy for him.

[Peg Herring]

I love it. Does he have ruffles on his sleeves?

[Jon Loomis]

In my new book everybody's having sex but the bad guy, who's more interested in Latin dance. I guess I missed the boat again...

[I. J. Parker]

Jeez, it sounds horrible. Now you have to give us the glowing review blurbs.

[Peg Herring]

Then I guess neither of you would like the book I just threw in the trash about 1/3 of the way in, huh? And the example about being on K-2? I actually read that one, too. Evil Guy stripped off his Gore-Tex and...well, you get the idea.

[J. F. Juzwik]

I agree with Dana. Kill Mr. Good Guy; he's in your way. Do what you will with the girl, but don't take her along. Natural Born Killers had all that, but they were both evil and that's why that one worked for me. Don't turn your evil guy into some schmuck - keep him bad. Much more interesting.

[Dana King]

Not me. I hate it when they do this in stories. Like when the hero and the female lead are on the run, bad guys could burst in on them at any second, and they have sex and fall asleep together. Turns me right off.