Feet on the Ground, Ms. Author!

[Peg Herring]

I found somewhere a list of things one shouldn't say to a mystery author, and I got a charge out of it, because I've heard just about all of them: "I don't read fiction" (with nose lifted); "I buy my books at garage sales, but I'll look for yours"; and the most frequent, "Oh. My (son, daughter, granddaughter, neighbor, washing machine repairman, etc.) wrote a book, too." (That one is often followed by, "Would you like to read it?" or "Could you send it to your agent?")

I've added another one, a comment that stymies me: "I bought your book but I've been so busy, I just haven't had a chance to read it yet." I guess I'm supposed to be thrilled to have made the sale, but why bring it up if the verdict's still out? Of course even that is better than simply, "I read your book."..........And?

To me, it's like that haircut you just got. If I like it, I should say so. If I don't, I should pursue other topics. And if I haven't got a clue whether you got one this week or not, I should wait until I have evidence before mentioning haircuts, so we have somewhere to go with that conversation.

[I. J. Parker]

Oh, absolutely, but then it's impossible to read everything in the months before. Keep in mind that they haven't read your books either and are just as uncomfortable as you are. :) For that matter, I wouldn't mind explaining what my books are about, so perhaps they wouldn't either.

[Peg Herring]

Yes, one has to cultivate a knowing look and be prepared to say something positive. I never paid attention to who wrote what until I started writing, so my first Bcon was like a big quiz for which I had failed to study!

[I. J. Parker]

I'm laughing. I've heard them, too, plus all the ones that are waiting to get the book from the library. As for the last example, I'm guilty of that myself. At my first Bouchercon, I paused to ask two chatting gentlemen a question, noticed that the name tag of one said, "Michael Connelly," and blurted out, "Oh, I've read your books." Long pause, as I was searching my mind. (Bosch? Wasn't terribly turned on by Bosch.) The silence became embarrassing and I stammered, "I liked them." An outright lie that probably came across clearly as such. Meanwhile, I've become a fan of the Non-Bosch books by Connelly.