‘Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.’ – Dalai Lama
Recently, I tuned into an excellent podcast produced by Amy Porterfield called, “How to Set Goals and Create a Plan for the New Year.”
In the podcast, she touches on the subject of “No” and being “protective of your time” — a phrase I heard years ago that stuck with me as a writer and resurfaced again in Amy’s podcast. Bestselling authors Stephen King, Michael Connelly and many other successful and prolific writers live by this rule. Your real work is calling. So kNOw your limits. How you ask?
What’s the thing that matters in your life right now at this very moment? Whatever answer you get. Protect it. In a recent Psychology Today article on “The Power of No” by Judith Sills, PH.D., she says: ‘“No” recognizes that we are the agents of our own limits…’ You must recognize that concept to move forward on the road to No. But what if you enjoy drowning in a sea of opportunity? No is still your lifeboat.
FOMO, known as the Fear of Missing Out, is that crazy busy pace you maintain to take one more meeting, go to one more event, sign up for one more service, etc. etc. Opportunity knocks, right? Sometimes opportunity breaks down the door and the asker wins by attrition. Besides you’re the “go to” guy/gal, even if you live to regret it.
You can’t say, “No,” can you? But what happens when the opportunity is a burnt offering? You admit you made a mistake, and then work your way out to find the “No” exit.
Success does depend on the forfeiture of something you are clinging to at this very moment. It is something that is demanding your time that keeps you from doing the thing that you really need to do. The thing you really want to do might require a No.
We all have something. I remember reading in Brian Tracy’s book years ago, The Ultimate Goals Program, and he asked, “What are you willing to sacrifice?” This is an important question to ask on the road to No. Which leads me to another motivational mentor:
This is a touchy subject and many people still quote it: Zig Ziglar was famous and often requoted as saying “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”
This quote requires a caveat. “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just helpthe right people get what they want.” The wrong people will bleed you, and Zig certainly never worked in Hollywood to know what makes guys like Sammy Glick (See “What Makes Sammy Run”). If you spend your life helping the wrong people and not saying “no,” you’ll go broke.
So, now the fun stuff. If you’re a fan of the film Sexy Beast with Academy Award Winner Ben Kingsley, then you found his character, Don Logan, nothing short of brilliant. When someone pushes your boundaries, you can always conjure up Don’s character and repeat the phrase “No,” and if you use his style, I’m sure the person requesting your time will run away—far away– and leave you alone to protect your time.
You will never have to ask again… what part of “no” don’t you understand?
How to say no like a Sexy Beast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z_Qqnq8pI8