Observations-You May Keep Them to Yourself

[Peg Herring]

Two conversations I've had in the last week deal with other people's comments about oneself. The question that arose is why do people think they have to comment on what others do. Is it just a need to say something, or do they really feel that you need their advice? Those who make personal comments don't realize that it comes off as "I'm better/smarter/wiser than you, so I'm going to tell you how to become more like me."



Some examples: "Boy, you sure like to eat." "You should dump that guy. He's no good for you."

"I notice you wear a lot of black. Do you know that makes you look old?"



Nice people (like me) usually smile and change the subject or say something mildly defensive, like "I like black." But what we THINK is, "SHUT UP!"

[Peg Herring]

You guys are hilarious. I'm going to memorize all those and then congratulate myself when I do NOT say them to my friends and family. Sometimes, it really is the thought that counts, and that will put a smile on my face!

[Charles A. Ray]

And, what we'd like to do is bend them like pretzels and shove their heads up their nether regions. People in general can't stand silence, so they feel they have to say something - unfortunately, what they usually say is stupid. My wife, for instance, is Korean. When we meet new people, it is almost inevitable that someone will ask her if she's Japanese or Chinese. If you're at all familiar with Asian history, you can imagine what reaction that question got in the early years of our marriage. She's gotten better now, when someone asks that dumb question, she just smiles and says, "No, I'm an American."

[Dana King]

I'm in the Loomis camp on these comments.

"Boy, you sure like to eat."
"Stick around. I like to fart, too."

"You should dump [her]. [S]He's no good for you."
"I would, but your wife's only available two nights a week."

"I notice you wear a lot of black. Do you know that makes you look old?"
"Does it make me look old enough to know better than to say stupid shit like that?"

Of course, this may be why I don't have any friends. ;-)

[Jon Loomis]

I find it almost impossible not to be a complete smart-ass in those situations. The FIRST thing that comes to mind for me is the snappy response, as in:

1.Shut the fuck up, fatso.

2.Yeah, but he's hung like a mule.

3.Let's talk about your outfit now. What's wrong--clown suit at the cleaners?

These responses are honed by years in the classroom, of course.

[Peg Herring]

Thanks. It's always good to hear from people. Otherwise, I'd feel silly just typing to these four walls!

[I. J. Parker]

I like black, too. :)