What's in a Name?

[Peg Herring]

Two perspectives here: my own and some recent experiences.

First, mine. For some reason I don't understand, I often am called Pat (shades of old SNL skits!) If often happened in my years of teaching, not surprising since there was another teacher of similar build, coloring, glasses, and height who is named Pat. So Pat was called Peg and I was called Pat, and we laughed about it.

But since I became Peg the Author, I still run into people who call me Pat, and they didn't even know that other person. Once again I rationalize: Peg and Pat are short, both start with P, and Pat is perhaps more familiar. I've been introduced to large audiences as Pat and had to embarrass the emcee by correcting her. I've talked with people for extended periods at conferences and then been told as we part, "It was so nice to meet you, Pat." And I've had emails, with my original, signed post at the bottom, that are replied to with the salutation, "Dear Pat."

What to do? Well, I've learned to answer to Pat, gently insert my correct name as a reminder, and then, if I must, tell the person outright but with a sense of humor. After all, I want them to look for www.pegherring.com, not pat.

The other side of this phenomenon is the people who get irate when it happens. I received a very nasty email this morning from a member of an organization I head up. Our secretary apparently spelled his name wrong on his membership card. That's an unfortunate error, but mistakes happen, and it's a piece of cardboard. It can be redone. I ran into a guy on the Net once with an oddly spelled, feminine-sounding name and incurred his wrath by sending him an email with his name misspelled (I used the masculine form). He called me everything but a nice girl, ranting on about my lack of character, forethought, and intelligence. A person's name is really important, and I should have been careful to get it right.

Or I could have told him my name is Pat.

[D.R. MacMaster]

I've had my name (Duncan) spelled "Tonkin" on one occasion, apparently by people who think I was named after a gulf in Vietnam.

[Pepper Smith]

I once had to go back to a man I'd babysat for and have him make out a new check in my name, rather than Penny. I still get called Penny from time to time. I also get called by my husband's name, even by people who know us. Unless it's important, I usually don't bother with correcting them.

[Dana King]

I routinely get mail addressed to Ms. King; I was even assigned to a women's dorm in college. A friend of my father called me Damien until I moved away, and he'd known me since I was born. Never bothered me, and I only corrected people who mispronounced my name if I was likely to see them again.

I drew the line when my grad school diploma noted that "Dana King" has met all the requirements blah blah blah and the "she was now entitled" to all the rights and privileges blah blah blah.

I made them change that one.

[Jon Loomis]

I get the spelling thing all the time, obviously, and it doesn't bother me. I spell out the first and last names for people now (order-takers, customer service reps, etc.) routinely and it's no big deal, even when I get turned into John Lumas after I've spelled it for them. I'm used to it. You can call me anything you want, as my father used to say, as long is it ain't "too late to eat."