I started writing limericks in high school. That was before I got into trouble for publishing a high school look-alike of the 1950s Confidential magazine (a fictional version of the story appears in my mystery novel, The Hayloft). I no longer write scandal sheets, but I do still write limericks. Here are some of my mystery limericks:

Of hostage talks writes Jeffery Deaver:*

To negotiate be a deceiver.

Try to help them survive

So there’ll be some alive

When it’s time to become a retriever.

*A Maiden’s Grave


A mystery writer named Poe

Wrote stories that you and I know,

Of gold bugs and letters,

And victims in fetters,

And murders and poems full of woe.


The amazing Ms. Agatha Christie

Wrote tales that are turny and twisty,

On boats and on trains,

In snows and in rains,

And mansions in moors that are misty.


The story of Grafton, sweet Sue,

Is one of an alphabet stew,

From A through to Z;

She’s done B, G and P.

She’s doing it all just for U.


Ms. Hamilton, first name Denise,

Writes tales of LA without cease.

Her reporter named Eve

Has skulls up her sleeve

And sings lullabies to the police.


The most famous Bradbury is Ray,

Who chronicled Mars in his day.

A warning is spun

In “451.”

The Wicked and Death have their say.


A mystery author named Pari,

Writes of a night sky that is starry

In New Mexico,

Where Sasha her pro-

Tag solves crimes, does PR, isn’t sorry.


Let’s hear it for spy author Gayle,

Whose Spymaster breaks out of jail.

With action nonstop

You’ll run till you drop.

The forfeit is death if you fail.


A prominent writer named King

Causes horror and evil to swing.

There’s Carrie, Christine,

And Misery’s queen,

The Shining and each Needful Thing.


A detective, Miss Nancy Drew,

Has a sporty convertible (blue).

She’s brave and she’s bold;

Why she never gets old

We wish she would give us a clue.


The Follett whose first name is Ken

Wrote Eye of the Needle; two men

Had to track down a spy,

Both the Needle and eye,

Before he got back to his den.

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