Are writers who write about murder more fun than writers who write about women finding empowerment through quilting?

That's the question of the day.

This came up in a bar, naturally, in a confab of writers - some crime, some literary, and some downright criminal. Ad Hudler, literary novelist, admitted to homicidal ambitions. Why?

Because crime writers, he said, have more fun than literary writers.

I know a few literary writers, like Soren Palmer who's been nominated for a Pushcart Prize (you go, Soren). These are kudos rarely handed out to those of us who dabble in murder but Soren, aside from the dour Scandinavian name his folks hung on him, is an enjoyable guy to hang with, as is Mr. Hudler.

So, if it's true that crime writers have more fun, why is that? Following are three theories, the first of which is my favorite but it is almost assuredly bullshit.

Theory #1: We write away our demons. Yeah, it's all like poetic and all, but as much as I like it I don't buy it.

Theory #2: Crime writers are tap dancers. Elmore Leonard isn't wrestling with any deep philosophical conundrums. He's writing about bad people in bad places. Those of us who write crime are, at bottom, trying to entertain the reader, not enlighten them. So it's no wonder that we're entertaining. As long as our standards are low and the bar is open.

Theory #3: Literary writers come, mostly, from academia and everyone knows that academia is a bog of petty politics, back-stabbing, and professional envy. Someone smarter than I am (and we're talking multitudes here, people) said that the politics in academia are so brutal because the rewards are so small. I know one professor at Duke who cannot stand Reynolds Price, mostly because Price is wildly successful by literary standards. So it stands to reason that if you get a group of literary writers in a room together, the similarity to a snake pit is not coincidental. No wonder so many of those books make me want to take a bath with my toaster.

That's what I think. Anyone else want to weigh in on why we have more fun than literary novelists? I'm open for your theories, the more outrageous the better.

Talk to me.

Mister! He called me Mister! Glad to have you on board, David.

Thanks for the friendship, David. I enjoyed your question of the day--I have to agree with whoever said "the politics in academia are so brutal because the rewards are so small." My husband, Pinckney, has been a writer in the academy for almost twenty years, and things sure do get ugly. Personally, I go for the sharp stick in the eye, rather than the toaster route!

Cheerful little avatar you got there, Dave...

Thank you, Mindy. I tried to find something that would cheer everyone up.

Perhaps it's just that we are simple creatures, unburdened by intelligence or talent. Things like intelligence and talent weigh on the mind and sharply reduce one's capacity for fun.

So crime writers have more fun than literary writers. And dogs have more fun than people.

And amoebas? Woah. The party never ends for amoebas.

David,
I've heard for so long about your affinity for the blues, as well as your prowess, so I've been wanting to ask you...

What are your tools of the trade? What do you play? And what kind?

Paul,

I'm a harp player. I play guitar, but I'm not a guitar player. I am a harp player.

For the gearheads:

Guitar, I play a Les Paul. I know, it's fat for the blues, and if my playing justified a jump, I'd buy a 335 or, in my dreams, an L5. But the Les Paul does fine playing rhythm backup for our lead. My amp is a Fender Deluxe, single 12.

Harp, I play a Special 20 through a 1941 Shure biscuit mic this guy in LA made for me. My amp is a 1948 National that cranks, at best, 17 watts, but has an industrial crunch that brings home the money. I've added a reverb pedal to it for a little depth, but as with everything else, it's a WIP.

That's my electric stuff. I also play Piedmont blues on a 1947 Martin 00-18, one of the sweetest guitars ever made on this planet. I have a resonator, and although I'm no slide player I'm not dead yet, so who knows.

Nothing gets me higher than playing 8-bar in a smoky room, hitting the bridge like it was Selma. Cause, damn man, that's when it gets really really good. I love jump like Louis Jordan and T-Bone Walker. If that was all I could play from now until the day I died, that would be just fine.

And I'm happy you asked. It's not often I get to talk gear in a room full of writers.

"I also play Piedmont blues on a 1947 Martin 00-18"

Holy Grail of guitars, Batman!

I bow before you.

I'm a Fender guy. A newer Strat and a '73 Tele that I love. I play through a Wiggy - an amp designed by a friend of mine for Peavey that is incredibly versatile. More amp than I'll ever be able to use.

I too, am not a guitar player, but damn I'm trying. One day I hope to be.

I tried the harp years ago - after being exposed to Charlie Musselwhite - but I was too young and immature to understand what a cool instrument it was.

Musselwhite is so damn good. I love that guy. But I think I owe more to Paul Butterfield than anyone else. Almost everything I played in the 70's grew out of what I could steal from Butterfield's solo on Driftin' and Driftin.'

Other influences were James Cotton, Little Walter, Sonny Boy (I and II), John Mayall, Junior Wells and Corky Siegel.

The Martin belonged to my wife's grandmother. The first song I played on it was a 30's swing number called Big Bad Bill Is Sweet William Now. When my wife heard me she said that her grandmother had played that song on that guitar. Spooky. It's almost like the song was in the guitar and all it took was for someone to coax it out.

I started playing harp because it fit in my pack. The downside was, I had to get good fast because everyone around me had a loaded weapon. Harsh critics, every one of them.

Love Junior Wells and Little Walter.

Also a big fan of the Mississippi boys - RL Burnside, T Model Ford and Asie Payton, among others.

I wore out my Big Mama Thornton cassette back in the day - thank God for iTunes - and no one will ever convince me there was a greater guitar player than Roy Buchanan.

Ray,

The Ides of March are indeed my birthday. The wife took me out to dinner with my daughter and several friends last night and we drank to your health, Mr. Banks.

David,

For a man of such talent: why weren't you part of the Thrillerfest band on stage in Phoenix? Don't tell me the drinking got in the way of the blues! I'm still waiting for a copy of that movie you're writing ...

Slan, Pat.

Pat,

I asked and I was shut out. That's when the phrase, "But I'm a fucking nominee" was coined.

Jon,

I'm sure that's not true. What do you play? Give us the gear.

Okay, I'm just a little fella, but if you don't mind, I'll try jumping on the muso talk happening over at this table.

Been playing blues harp since I was 16, but never played it in a band. My fave harps are the Lee Oskar series and if I had to pick a favourite harp player, it'd be Sonny Boy Williamson II. That song, Mighty Long Time sends shivers all through me, even at the mention of the title.

I've also been playing guitar for about as long, with a few years in a goth-industrial-rock band. I know, it ain't no blues, but I've always played plenty of slide guitar in my spare time. After I left that band, I even spent a couple of years working on some tunes under the name Danny Hawaii. Yeah, TD's got a story about him that I wrote.

Guitar-wise, I have a sparkly silver Danelectro DC3 as my electric. I'm a big fan of dirty, stripped down twangy sounds, ala Link Wray. I also have a Maton EM235C acoustic/electric with cutaway. Brass slides are my weapon of choice for this, but I've been known to use machetes and broken beer bottles at parties.

Hi David.

Thanks for the invite. I've been a fan of The Planet for a long while and was one of the many who missed it when you went on hiatus.

Am still waiting for your book to arrive - not available in local bookstores - will let you know once I've read it. Thanks for making the stupid things that people do seem funny. I'd rather be laughing than crying.

Dennis,

Welcome. I'm always surprised when someone says they read The Planet. Thanks. I'm glad you enjoy it.

As for the book, I am so grateful when anyone buys it that I make this guarntee: If you read it and don't like it, I'll buy it back. That's a promise.

So far I haven't had to buy back more than one. Yeah, thanks, Mom.

Dammit.

A money-back guarantee? You do realise the dollar/rand exchange rate is like seven to one, right?

Bless you, Margot. I love librarians.

Hey, David. re: Your comment on Imantrek's page on being the worst DJ ever---I bet you never accidentally turned off a hundred thousand watt radio station for three hours, sending the chief engineer out to the tower in a blizzard to turn the thing back on! Methinks I hold the record....

Laura,

Yes, that's pretty bad. But yours was a one-time event. I went on the air every day with my slow-motion disaster.

I write, I drink, I listen to blues.

Ah, a man who has his priorities straight.

Thanks for the kind words on the sensibility of my stance on blogging. It's like "American Idol," though. I'm likely unwilling to do these things out of pure cussedness, more than anything else.

How's the research on DC going? I've got a ton of info on historical DC (my current project takes place there in 1844) if you could use a leg up on your research.

Thanks, Brian, but I have sailed past the rocky shores of research and am well on my way with this novel. But if you've got anything on the different jazz clubs along U Street in the early 40's, I'd eat that stuff up.