If you haven't guessed yet, ABTP stands for "Anybody But The Patriots."
Seriously, I'm a Colts fan, but regardless of what team I liked, I'd still hate the Patriots ... unless I lived in Boston. Then I'd like the Patriots, but I'd have to kill myself.
Is there a more miserable excuse for a human being than Bill Bellicose ... er, Bellichick, the irascible coach of the Patriots? Dresses like a bum, cheats like Bill Clinton and is the worst sport since, um, that one guy on the WWF.
How do you really feel about him, Norm?
He's a jerk.
Well, okay then.
So I'm pretty happy that Coach Belligerent isn't happy today. In fact, it seems like everyone's happy and gloating about it. The weather even warmed up and started melting the snow ... which, um... caused some pretty bad fog. But it reminded me of pea soup, and that made me want soup... which is a good thing.
And poor Tom Brady. Mr. Pin Up. I'm sure some supermodel will be consoling him. Boo-hoo-hoo! Anyone pitying him?
I didn't think so.
And do I mind that the people in New England are upset today? Hah! The Boston Red Sox weren't enough? ... the Boston Celtics? ...and probably their hockey team, whoever that is.
But get this, some people outside of New England actually rooted for the Patriots. Any of you wanna know why? It's because they didn't want the unbeaten 1972 Dolphins to drink Metamucil this year. And ... what? ... oh, champagne?
Anyway, who cares about a bunch of drunk sea mammals? I hate champagne, and hopefully they have some whopping hangovers right now that are making their dentures ache.
Oh, and I'm sure it just takes the cake for Coach Belchesalot that the brother of his arch enemy, Peyton Manning, swiped the trophy from underneath his sneer .
Hee, hee, hee... I'm so happy.
On a totally unrelated note, I had a great time at Love is Murder. I can't begin to tell you the great authors I ran into ... most of them forgive me. But the short list includes Lee Child, Raymond Benson, William Kent Krueger, Tess Gerritsen, Barry Eisler (pause while you women all fan yourselves) ... not to mention, ... but I will ... almost every single writer on the Acme Authors Link, Todd & Terri Stone, Margot Justes, Rob Walker, Morgan Mandel... did I miss anyone? ... hope not.
If you've never gone to a writer's conference, what are you waiting for?! What an awesome time, and every author I've ever met at a conference has been approachable, bribable, and willing to let you buy him or her a drink.
Gotta go. See y'all and stuff,
www.normcowie.com The Adventures of Guy ... written by a guy (probably) The Next Adventures of Guy ...more wackiness The Heat of the Moment (anthology)