As I sit here, finishing up another writing session, I can't help but feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Writing is a taxing effort, and all the more so when you're dealing with a day job, a family and a myriad other time consuming activities.
You see, I'm a novelist wannabe, which means writing isn't paying the bills. Hell, I'm not even sure if being a published novelist would pay the bills. Anyway, I'm sure every one of you reading this, if anyone takes a moment out of their busy lives to indulge me, knows how I feel right now. I'm tired with a capital T and then a few more capital T's followed by the I-R-E-D. I'm scared, I'm overwhelmed and I'm doubtful. Then again, I'm happy, I'm peaceful and I'm hopeful. Such is the dichotomy of pouring your heart and soul into a project that may never see the light of day.
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time, but I keep plugging and chugging, hoping to reach the hallowed ground of PUBLISHED NOVELIST! I often find myself wondering if it's all worth it, but just when I feel the most disheartened, my unpaid editor will send me an e-mail saying, "I just finished Chapter 8 and it is amazing!" Isn't that what we're all looking for? A bit of acceptance. Some praise. Don't we all just want to reach out and touch one person? Would it be so bad if I never got published but five people who I respect told me that my work was fantastic? Once again, such is the life of a writer.
Lest you all think I'm some dark and brooding individual hiding hermit-like in my dank cave, nothing could be further from the truth. Believe it or not, I'm a normal functioning societal unit, who just wants to finish his first novel and see it in print. Is that so wrong?
In the meantime, I'll just be happy that my wife loves me, my son thinks I hung the moon and my daughter tells me I'm funny. You would think that would just about do it, but boy, would I like to enter the ranks of the published.
Kudos to the published! I'm sure you've each endured more than most can fathom and reached dreams you only imagined. Keep on keeping on.