Gunter Voelker
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  • Lincoln
  • United States
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Gunter Voelker's Page

Profile Information

Hometown:
Lincoln, NE
About Me:
I was born by a midwife named Carol in Missouri's Mark Twain National Forest. My parents were hippies who subsisted mainly on eggs, beans, and rice: foods for which I developed a taste, I think, during gestation and whose aromas still elicit a mysterious nostalgia. I came out ass-first, and jaundiced, so they put me in the sun. Three months into my infancy we moved to Lincoln, Nebraska.

When I was little I remember asking my live-in babysitter, because I was confused, whether the thing dangling between my legs was called a "penis" or a "linguini." Later that babysitter, whose name is Laurie, would disappear for unfathomable adult reasons, and who knows what havoc the experience wrought on my development.

When I was in elementary school I looked forward keenly to the Scholastic-Arrow Book Orders, those four- or five-page glossy catalogs with which students monthly convinced their parents that an interest in acquiring books indicated a further interest in literature, and from which my own parents allowed me a maximum of three selections, provided I had read what I'd ordered last month. Most popular when I was in school were The Babysitter's Club and Goosebumps series, of which latter I at one time I had the full complement, and, to a lesser extent, The Boxcar Children. Newberry Medal winners figured prominently. But the book I remember most is Harriet the Spy, because the year it appeared in the catalog, it happened that I had already read it. Had had an experience of it, in fact, maybe fifty times, events I’d tallied on the inside cover in fat gradeschool pencil. I'd memorized pages, even engineered a "spy belt" and written mean notes about my classmates in a pocket-sized notebook. (The notebook perseveres in a box somewhere among other childhood mementos.) I remember Mrs. Horne standing behind a podium and reading the month's selections to the class: Number the Stars, by Lois Lowry, Sign of the Beaver, by Elizabeth George Speare. And when she said Harriet the Spy, I shot upright, banging my knee on the desk’s metallic underside. Other kids snickered; my crush sat only two rows behind me, snickering too. It must have looked like I’d responded to some startling portion of my internal monologue. But for a moment, Mrs. Horne had become Louise Fitzhugh - who in my mind must have looked like a more grown-up version of Harriet M. Welsch as I knew her from the cover of my paperback: in pigtails, cherubic but with an air of mischief, looking shrewd with one leg of her glasses in her mouth. Mrs. Horne’s matronly physiognomy thus shifted, I wanted to explain, to make known my ardor, to confess, to self-immolate: all of this in less than a second. I am prone to this sort of zealotry.

Also, I didn't learn how to ride a bicycle without training wheels until I was eight years old.

Also, unchecked, I could drink a twelve-pack a day of Diet Mt. Dew. And I can read very bad handwriting.
I Am A:
Reader, Writer
Website:
http://itwascolonelmustard.blogspot.com
Books And Authors I Like:
The Night In Question, Tobias Wolff
Jesus' Son, Denis Johnson
Dead Boys, Richard Lange
Clockers, Richard Price
Controlled Burn, Scott Wolven
The Dead Fish Museum, Charles D'Ambrosio
The Stories of Breece D'J Pancake
Father and Son, Larry Brown
Movies And TV Shows I Like:
The Wire
Six Feet Under
The Daily Show
Deadwood
The Colbert Report

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 9:08am on July 4, 2009, Preetham Grandhi said…
Hi Gunter, I want to introduce you to my debut novel "A Circle of souls" which is a paranormal, murder, mystery thriller and a tale of justice and hope. Do visit www.acircleofsouls.com to read more about the book. Make sure you sign up to win an autographed copy of the book. Thanks for your time in advance.

Best regards

Preetham Grandhi

Early Endorsements for “A Circle of Souls”

Linda Fairstein, NYT Bestselling Author: "A fascinating debut - this novel takes the reader to the darkest places in the human soul, from a writer with the authenticity to lead us there. A stunning thriller and an important read."

Judge Judy Sheindlin, star of the Judge Judy Show: "The seminal work of this fine author kept me glued to my chair until the adventure was over and the mystery solved. A great read!"

Book Synopsis:

The sleepy town of Newbury, Connecticut, is shocked when a little girl is found brutally murdered. The town s top detective, perplexed by a complete lack of leads, calls in FBI agent Leia Bines, an expert in cases involving children.

Meanwhile, Dr. Peter Gram, a psychiatrist at Newbury s hospital, searches desperately for the cause of seven-year-old Naya Hastings devastating nightmares. Afraid that she might hurt herself in the midst of a torturous episode, Naya s parents have turned to the bright young doctor as their only hope.

The situations confronting Leia and Peter converge when Naya begins drawing chilling images of murder after being bombarded by the disturbing images in her dreams. Amazingly, her sketches are the only clues to the crime that has panicked Newbury residents. Against her better judgment, Leia explores the clues in Naya s crude drawings, only to set off an alarming chain of events.
In this stunning psychological thriller, innocence gives way to evil, and trust lies forgotten in a web of deceit, fear, and murder.
 
 
 

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