1. Mow the lawn (or shovel the walk, depending on where you live)
2. Empty the dishwasher
3. Figure out why Jim Croce isn't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
4. Go to work
5. Re-read "If I Did It" by O.J. Simpson
6. Watch your DVD copy of the "Joe the Plumber" debate
7. Do the Macarena
8. Tote that barge
9. Lift that bale
10. Search Hulu for the "Hotchkabab" episode of "Green Acres"
11. Try once again to learn how to juggle
12. Try to remember the name of one reality TV "star"
13. Watch the stock ticker and contemplate bankruptcy
14. Re-fill the dishwasher
15. Batten down the hatches
16. Check the standings in Major League Baseball (hint: each team will have played 1 game)
17. Wonder why "March Madness" culminates in April
18. Clip your toenails (actually, I was asked to include that one, and yes, we mean YOU)
19. Try to figure out the plot of LOST
20. See what Regis and Kelly are up to
21. Go on an all-rutabaga diet
22. Calculate the number of minutes until STAR TREK opens
23. Count the holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
24. Walk the dog/cat/ferret/marmoset
25. Run the dishwasher AGAIN.
Or, you could go out and spend only $7.99 (or less!) on a book that I have personally called "the best in the Double Feature Mystery series." But then, I'm slightly biased. I could get you in touch with my mom...
(Normally, I'd be waxing rhapsodic on the first day of the New York Yankees season, but hey, my book's coming out TUESDAY APRIL 7, and the Yankees are doing just fine on their own. GO GET A COPY OF "A NIGHT AT THE OPERATION!" And then please, let me know what you think of it.)