Newsletter #8

[JA Konrath]

I recently revamped www.JAKonrath.com, and invite you to stop by for a chance to win twenty million dollars! (Void where prohibited, which is where you live.)

It was designed by Jack Passarella at www.authorpromo.com. Besides a new look and easier navigation, JAKonrath.com also sports brand new content:

*New Videos, including the extremely expensive book trailer for my latest Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel!

*Lengthy excerpts from all of my novels, including my latest Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel!

*An Author Spolier and Poll about the surprise ending to my latest Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel!

*New Embarassing Pictures that have nothing to do with my latest Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel!

*Contests and Free Stuff!

*A Guestbook! (Okay, that probably didn't deserve an exclamation point.)

*Live Chat! Talk with me live!

*An all new Message Board, where fans can interact with each other and with me in an interactive forum that encourages interaction through interacting, especially about my latest Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel!

*A page and excerpt from Afraid, my upcoming Jack Kilborn novel!

*And even more, maybe!

So please visit http://www.JAKonrath.com, and be sure to tell your friends. All the cool kids are doing it.


Straight Up - The Official Newsletter of Author J.A. Konrath #8

In this issue:
--Introduction
--Book Launch Party
--The Fuzzy Navel Tour
--Reviewer Contest
--Free E-Books
--MySpace
--Speaking Engagements
--Recent News
--Be AFRAID
--Jack Daniels Movie Update
--Freebies


--INTRODUCTION

You're on this mailing list because you love books. I love them too. This email is my way of reaching out to readers, librarians, bookstore employees, and fellow authors, and giving you free stuff. If you want to be taken off this list you can opt out using the link at the bottom. If you've asked to be removed from this newsletter and haven't been, I apologize. If you've signed up for this newsletter and haven't received it, you probably aren't reading this, but I apologize anyway.

My fifth Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller novel, FUZZY NAVEL, will be released in hardcover and on audio CD and MP3 on July 8th. The first four novels in the series, WHISKEY SOUR, BLOODY MARY, RUSTY NAIL, and DIRTY MARTINI, are currently available in paperback, hardcover, and on audio. They'll make you laugh, and then scare your socks off. Please head to your favorite bookstore and buy eleven copies of each for yourself and everyone you know.

Now let's get to the fun stuff:


--BOOKLAUNCH PARTY

I love book parties, especially those that take place in snazzy venues where the food and liquor are free and there are plenty of cool people to talk to.

I'm not having one this year.

However, on the launch date for Fuzzy Navel, July 8th, you're all invited to my CEREBRAL BOOK LAUNCH PARTY!

Instead of a brick and mortar restaurant with an open bar, this party takes place entirely in my mind. There will be celebrities, big surprises, and everyone who attends will win $300 and a Toyota Prius. It's going on from 7pm-9pm, in my head. Please RSVP via telepathy. I hope to see you all there.

Then, after the party, go to a real store and buy my book.


--THE FUZZY NAVEL TOUR

I'll be visiting stores in Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, and Michigan. Keep an eye on www.JAKonrath.com for when and where.


--REVIEWER CONTEST

I love being reviewed, whether it's in a newspaper, a newsletter, a listserv, on a website, a blog, MySpace, a bulletin board, an online review site, a bookstore site, etc. People who wrote reviews of DIRTY MARTINI were thanked in the acknowledgements of FUZZY NAVEL. I'm doing the same thing for this book.

Write a review of FUZZY NAVEL and put it someplace where people can read it, and you'll be thanked in the acknowledgments of CHERRY BOMB, coming out next year. Simple as that. Email me a link to your review (if you've already reviewed it, please send me the link again) and you'll be entered in a contest.

Ten lucky winners, drawn at random, will receive free signed stuff. You'll have a choice of any of my previous or future books or anthologies.

One very lucky grand prize winner will get dinner. Yes, I'll actually buy you dinner. Drinks too. The only downside is that I'll be there with you.

So if you want free books, or you want to have me all to yourself for a few hours while I ply you with fine food and drink, then please review Fuzzy Navel.

Oh, and each different place you post the review online counts as a separate contest entry. So if you write one review and post it on your blog, your MySpace page, your Facebook page, Goodreads.com, Shelfari.com, Booksnbytes.com, Amazon.com, BN.com, Borders.com, DorthyL.com, and Yahoo Groups, then that's 11 entries, and 11 chances to win. How badly do you want to eat with me?


--FREE E-BOOKS

Haven't read any of my books yet? Now you can, for free. I have several full length novels and several dozen short stories available as free downloads on JAKonrath.com. Check them out, and keep an eye out for my new website design coming in July.


--MYSPACE

Are we MySpace Best Friends Forever yet? Visit my page at www.MySpace.com/JAKonrath and join my 15,000 other BFFs, each of whom I know by name and stay in constant touch with because they are so very dear to me. I also have a Facebook page, and you can befriend me there as well. Though, in all honesty, the best way to befriend me is by seeing me at a writing conference and handing me a beer.


--SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS

Are you affiliated with a library, book club, writing group, university, book fair, conference, or convention and would love to have me come speak? Of course you would. And I would love to come. Email me with a request and we can discuss my outrageous fees and unreasonable demands.


--RECENT NEWS

Harry McGlade, Jack's ex-partner, is the star of two novellas. The first, SUCKERS, is co-written with cult horror author Jeff Strand. Jeff's series character Andrew Mayhem (star of three hilariously gruesome books) teams up with Harry, and the jokes fly fast and furious. It's limited to 300 hardcover copies, and a really funny book. Get it before it's gone forever.

Harry is also in LIKE A CHINESE TATTOO, an anthology edited by Bill Breedlove. This story, called THE NECRO FILE, is officially the silliest thing I've ever written. Both of these books are available at www.horror-mall.com. If you're a JA Konrath completist, a Harry McGlade fan, or just want to blow some money on stupid stuff, I encourage you to buy copies of each. But a warning: These aren't for the faint of heart.

I had the pleasure of collaborating with F. Paul Wilson on a story in the upcoming anthology BLOOD LITE, edited by Kevin J. Anderson. Look for it at bookstores everywhere this October.

DIRTY MARTINI was nominated for a Barry Award for best novel.

I wrote a funny werewolf novella for the anthology WOLFSBANE AND MISTLETOE, edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni L.P. Kelner. It's being released in October.

For those of you keeping tabs on what I eat for breakfast, this morning it was Frosted Mini Wheats. Yesterday, eggs and bacon. The day before, Mini Wheats. Tomorrow, I'm planning on Mini Wheats if any are left. If not, fried bologna.

I've collaborated with author Henry Perez on a novella featuring Jack Daniels and his character Alex Chapa (the main character from his upcoming thriller KILLING RED). The story, written for charity, is slated to appear in the upcoming Echelon Press release MISSING, which will debut at Bouchercon in Baltimore.

My blog, A NEWBIE'S GUIDE TO PUBLISHING (jakonrath.blogspot.com) was named one of the Top 101 Websites For Writers by Writer's Digest magazine.

JAKonrath.com is being overhauled with a new look and easier navigation, hopefully by the end of July. It will also include a message board, since I know all of my fans want to be able to interact with each other. All three of you. Expect another email from me when the website relaunches.

The biggest news of all came in the form of an email. Apparently a Nigerian prince has named me as an heir, and is going to deposit 16 million dollars into my bank account as soon as I send him the routing number. I plan on using the money to buy Nebraska, which I'll rename Joebraska and then have a rave party in the largest city, Joemaha. You're all invited.


--BE AFRAID

I've written a book under a pseudonym. It's called AFRAID, and I'm using the pen name Jack Kilborn. It will be available this year in Australia and Great Britain, and next year in the US. I tried my best to create the scariest novel of all time, and by early accounts I've succeeded. The website www.JackKilborn.com is coming soon.


--JACK DANIELS MOVIE UPDATE

Nothing to update, because no one has bought the rights. But if you've got fifty bucks, or even a case of good beer, call me and we'll talk.


--FREEBIES

Free stuff is cool. A few times a year I have a random drawing for free J.A. Konrath merchandise, and everyone on my mailing list is eligible. Five newsletter subscribers have been randomly picked to receive some cool gifts.

The lucky winners this time are:

[e-mail]
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
[e-mail]

Email me to get your swag.


Thanks very much (your name here) for reading this far. Keep an eye on JAKonrath.com for updates and news. See you on the road!

[Shirley Kennett]

I may just be having one of my Really Dense Days, but I couldn't find the expensive new book trailer on your website. Do your good deed for the day and point the way. Many thanks, Joe.