The big news on television this morning was that Madonna and her husband, Guy Ritchie, are splitting. How sad.
No, I'm not sad about the divorce; in fact, I could not care less. I couldn't have guessed the name of the man Madonna is married to this week if they hadn't told me.
What's sad is that we consider it news. A private matter between two people becomes fodder for discussion, and millions of Americans buy magazines, tune in to television shows, and talk over their Starbucks about it. Are our own lives so pitiful that we have no other topics of conversation? I would guess that celebrities who actually function and keep their private lives private would love to do a "vote them off the planet" and get rid of about two dozen of the worst offenders, the ones who give Hollywood, the sports world, and celebrity in general a bad name.
What's wrong with us? We salivate over "news" about these people, some of whom I have no idea what they're supposed to be famous for. Screwing around? Neglecting certain items of clothing? Getting drunk, high, or pregnant? Wow, nobody else could do that! Complaining about not getting enough playing time? about not getting the ball often enough? When did they hire you to manage the team?
Think about it. If you had an acquaintance who acted like some of the "notables" highlighted in today's media, you'd be rounding up friends and family to do an intervention, not spending your money on a tabloid to find out what comes next. We're obsessed with celebrities, and we support their excesses every time we tune in, page through, or pass on the gossip about their pathetic lives. There was a time when studios hushed up extra-marital affairs, team owners kept their players in line, at least publicly, and parents were expected to keep control of their offspring. Then someone discovered that America actually likes hearing the "bad" stuff. It sells.
Well, not all of America. I'd prefer to judge Madonna on her music, Pacman on his on-field play, and Paris on whatever it is she does when she's not clubbing. Don't tell me what they do outside of work, and I won't tell you things I've done that I shouldn't have. That's called having a private life, and I wish more celebrities considered it worthwhile.
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