Fibber McGee's Closet

[Lorna Barrett]

Now I'm much to young to know from actual experience about Fibber McGee, but I've heard about him. He was a character on an old radio show and every week he'd open the closet door and tons of stuff would fall out and make a BIG NOISE.

Well, I've inherited his closet. Yes, I'm still working on tidying the office. I cannot believe how much time I've put into this little adventure.

One of my favorite shows on BBC America is "How Clean Is Your Home." (Mind you, I don't get BBC America but my parents do. And I've seen about 7-8 episodes of this show.) Two neat-nick ladies, Kim and Aggie, go in and inspect the absolute FILTH in British homes, chide the homeowners (who are rarely embarrassed--their 15 (or in this case 30) minutes of fame, I suppose) and clean up the mess. They usually do it in 24-48 hours. (I'm on day three of my quest.)

I love this show because no matter how cluttered my house is, I know I'm not living in that kind of squalor. But alas, my house (and especially my office) is cluttered.

Yesterday I decided it was time to clean the closet. (You knew I'd eventually get back to it, right?) Talk about a trip back in time. I still have EVERY rejection letter I've every received. I have three LARGE 3-ring binders FULL of rejections. Some of them are just dedicated to one book. Sifting through the 18 inch stack of papers, I found another 1-2 inches of rejections that went into the file cabinet.

I found the absolute FIRST DRAFT of Murder On The Mind. (Didn't even know I'd kept it. I was afraid to even read the first paragraph.) I also found the draft that my (now retired) agent had commented on. (Whew.)

The next book in the series (after Dead In Red is published), is Cheated By Death. I have a file folder that's 4 inches thick just with notes an critiques. I'm going to go through them (hopefully this summer) before I read it and see if it needs another rewrite. (It's been a couple of years.)

By the time I sorted out the wheat from the chaff, I had 8 bags of shredded papers and a stack of stuff for the recycle bin that was at least 12 inches high. (To quote Dave Barry: "I am NOT making this up!")

I was able to reclaim quite a bit of closet real estate, which was immediately swallowed up by stuff that had been sitting under my china cabinet (where I keep my Christmas figurines) for ... several years ... and STILL this room is cluttered. I simply have too much STUFF, but a lot of it is stuff I just can't seem to part with. Like books. And books on tape. And figurines. (*Sigh*)

Today's quest is to reclaim my computer desk. As I've got the file cabinet in order I might be able to clear it off...and hope to keep it clear for at least a few days....

Cross your fingers for me!