I live in a truly wild and wonderful place that is rich with characters and loaded with varied and spectacular scenery.
Please don't be offended by my observations; I really do love living here. I have found a very welcoming atmosphere among many friends. I admit to a certain feeling of "culture shock" having lived in the city so long.
West Virginia is not only home to the Mountaineers but also, Our Lady of the Perpetual Yard Sale, Property Tax Capitol of the World (even your dog is taxed), Xtreme Tattoo & Piercing, the Nascar Boutigue, and the Poor Man's Retirement Plan (racing, slots and gaming).
Top ten discoveries I have made since moving to West Virginia:
1. Most gas stations both here and in most of the country offer coffee, donuts, magazines, cigarettes, and lottery tickets, but here you can also order your holiday ham or turkey--talk about convenience!
2. Hairspray was invented here and here's proof: There are more hair salons per square mile in West Vrginia than there are buffet-style restaurants and that is saying something, and I dare you to find a woman in said eating establishment whose hair couldn't sustain an 80 mph wind.
3. You can't buy beer until 1:00 pm on Sundays (probably because church doesn't let ou until 12:30).
4. Apparently "at" is a place everyone has heard of but can't seem to locate.
"Where's Susie at?";'Where'd I put that at?"; or "Where're they having the party at?" See what I mean?
5. Fashion pointers from the male population:
Women can't resist a man wearing a tee shirt sporting the phrase, "This ain't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a love machine."
Never take off your ball cap just because you've entered a restaurant.
Camouflage goes with everything.
6. Gun racks are best displayed in the master bedroom; everyone knows this is the safest place for them. Hmm...
7. Most newspaper articles involving an incident of domestic violence end with the phrase, "...and then he threw her off the porch."
8. Construction trade halts during squirrel season. If you own a rifle, you better have a good recipe for squirrel dumplings.
9. Recycled tires make excellent flower garden displays.
10. If your garage isn't bigger than your house, then you don't have enough Dale Earnhardr memorabilia.
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