I confess, didn't go to the Awards Banquet. All due respect, but four hours? In a ballroom with Noo Yawk in all its glory right outside? Sorry. Although I would have loved to have caught the Killer Thriller Band again.

But, I decided, why not come up with my own awards from T'fest? So, without further ado:

DUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE AWARD: This one's a tie between David Terrenoire and Stephen Blackmoore. Many, many people asked after you, guys. You were sorely missed.

HARDEST WORKING WOMAN IN SHOW BUSINESS AWARD: Alex Sokoloff of the Killerettes. Every time I saw her she was off to rehearsal for the big show, yet she still found time to do panels and the social thing. Hope you've gotten some rest.

COOLEST. NAME. EVER. AWARD: Elle Lothlorien.

GOLDEN PIPES AWARD: Oklahoma journalist and aspiring thriller writer Kim Mizar-Stem, aka the Force of Nature. That girl can flat SING.

I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AWARD: My friends Dave, Kim, and Jamey, who as it turned out, were in New York at the same time I was. Thanks guys, you saved me from an early bedtime.

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS AWARD: Another tie, between Sean Chercover and Ali Karim, both of whom gave very warm compliments to my work during their panels. Thanks guys.

BEST COMPLIMENT AWARD: All due respect to Sean and Ali, but this one goes to Zoe Sharp, who told me after my 9 AM Saturday panel that I had a lovely voice, even though said voice was on its last legs from too much rum, secondhand smoke, and lack of sleep.

LEE CHILD LAID BACK RIGHTEOUS DUDE AWARD: Carl Causey, husband of Toni McGee Causey. Definitely one of the good guys.

THE MIRROR IMAGE AWARD: The famous mystery/thriller writer who was so trashed he thought I was Harry Hunsicker, not once but twice. Your secret is safe with me, my friend, but I reserve the right to tweak your nose about it in the future. That's how I roll.

THE CURE FOR DRUNKENNESS AWARD: The bartenders at the Grand Hyatt, who made it difficult to get too drunk by the simple expedient of being as hard to reach and aloof as Dell Customer Service.

QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: Chris Everheart, quoting Levon Helm: "New York. It's an adult portion."

THE YES, DUSTY CAN BE BOUGHT FOR THE PRICE OF A MEAL AWARD: Margery Flax at MWA. You finally caught me, hon. Check's on the way.

ACE PANEL MASTER: Jim Born, who kept the panel moving and interesting, even at 9 AM on a Saturday.

ACE NATIVE GUIDE: Former New Yorker Graeme Stone ( I think I got the last name right) who led a merry band of companions to both Bryant Park and Karaoke. He unfortunately was unable to locate any trannies for Kim in the Times Square area. But hey, you can't have everything, even in New York.

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Comment by J.D. Rhoades on July 18, 2007 at 11:02pm
Heh! Good point, Robin.
Comment by Robin Burcell on July 18, 2007 at 4:07pm
I'd like to start a petition. All 9 AM panels on Saturday and Sundays need to die a quick death. Starting now. Think what would've happened if that thing had been on around 2 PM, when we'd finally awakened!
Comment by J.D. Rhoades on July 17, 2007 at 11:50pm
Tell it, sister. I thought Phoenix was expensive.
Comment by Laura Benedict on July 17, 2007 at 11:38pm
Darn. I saw trannies at breakfast down in the Meatpacking district. And the bartenders at the Hyatt kept me out of trouble by pricing their Heineken at $9.75! Was that the most expensive booze on the planet, or what?

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