I started writing limericks in high school. That was before I got into trouble for publishing a high school look-alike of the 1950s Confidential magazine (a fictional version of the story appears in my mystery novel, The Hayloft). I no longer write scandal sheets, but I do still write limericks. Here are some of my mystery limericks:
Of hostage talks writes Jeffery Deaver:*
To negotiate be a deceiver.
Try to help them survive
So there’ll be some alive
When it’s time to become a retriever.
*A Maiden’s Grave
A mystery writer named Poe
Wrote stories that you and I know,
Of gold bugs and letters,
And victims in fetters,
And murders and poems full of woe.
The amazing Ms. Agatha Christie
Wrote tales that are turny and twisty,
On boats and on trains,
In snows and in rains,
And mansions in moors that are misty.
The story of Grafton, sweet Sue,
Is one of an alphabet stew,
From A through to Z;
She’s done B, G and P.
She’s doing it all just for U.
Ms. Hamilton, first name Denise,
Writes tales of LA without cease.
Her reporter named Eve
Has skulls up her sleeve
And sings lullabies to the police.
The most famous Bradbury is Ray,
Who chronicled Mars in his day.
A warning is spun
The Wicked and Death have their say.
A mystery author named Pari,
Writes of a night sky that is starry
In New Mexico,
Where Sasha her pro-
Tag solves crimes, does PR, isn’t sorry.
Let’s hear it for spy author Gayle,
Whose Spymaster breaks out of jail.
With action nonstop
You’ll run till you drop.
The forfeit is death if you fail.
A prominent writer named King
Causes horror and evil to swing.
There’s Carrie, Christine,
And Misery’s queen,
The Shining and each Needful Thing.
A detective, Miss Nancy Drew,
Has a sporty convertible (blue).
She’s brave and she’s bold;
Why she never gets old
We wish she would give us a clue.
The Follett whose first name is Ken
Wrote Eye of the Needle; two men
Had to track down a spy,
Both the Needle and eye,
Before he got back to his den.
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