Confessions of a Candy Store Criminal

[Peg Herring]

"Priests can't tell what people confess, right? What I say in here is secret and you can't repeat it even if they put you in jail or whatever? You've heard what I told the girls, and most of it is true, but there's more, if you can keep it to yourself.

“Good, ‘cause I really need to talk to someone and my parents are...well, they’re parents. ‘This is for your own good’ and ‘You’ll understand when you have kids of your own.’ I’m not having kids, ever. In fact I’m thinking of becoming a nun. I just don’t know if you can be a nun if you’ve got a sin on your conscience. What? You can do that? Okay, then I guess I’d better tell you.

“See Jimmy and I were going steady, but my dad didn’t like him. So he tells me I have to end it. I didn’t want to, but you always tell us about honoring our parents, so I did it. I found Jim at the construction site where he works—um, worked. That was one of many things Dad didn’t like, the fact that Jimmy was a lot older. Anyway, I was crying, and I said that we couldn’t see each other any more, that we had to break up.

“Do you know what he said? He said, ‘Well, kid, it was fun while it lasted.’

“I couldn’t believe my ears. I started crying even harder, and then he said, ‘Do you think your friend Carrie would go out with me? She seems cool.’

“I turned my back and walked away, so hurt that I couldn’t speak. Then suddenly it wasn’t hurt any more, it was anger, really, really strong anger. I’ve never been so mad at anyone in my life.

“Jimmy wasn’t waiting around for me to pull myself together. He hopped on his big old Harley, the one my dad hated so much, and revved the engine a few times, like he always does—did.

“I couldn’t resist a last glance at him, so handsome, so tough...so unaffected by losing me. As he gave me a casual wave and started off, I looked down at the ground. There was a two-by-four studded with nails lying there, and without thinking, I picked it up and threw it at him with all the force his betrayal had given me. I didn’t mean for it to hit him, and it didn’t. But the board landed nail-side-up in the road ahead of Jimmy’s bike tire, and he ran over it.

“I shouted, ‘Lookout, lookout, lookout, lookout!’ but it was too late. I remember the squeal, the crash, the sound of my own voice, ‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...!’ And then it was over.

“So tell me, please, Father Smith, am I going to hell, or will becoming a nun make up for what I did? It wasn’t on purpose, and I swear to you, I’ll never forget what I did. And I’ll never forget him.”