Ten items or less please

[Shannon Chenoweth]

It's after 8pm and I'm in a Wal-Mart store. Generally, I try to avoid the chain since I can't stand so many things about them, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I grab the three or four things I came in to buy and head up front to find a short line to get in. Ha. Short line and Wal-Mart just don't play ball together. There is never such a thing as a short and fast line in a Wal-Mart. At least that has been my experience.
Like I was saying, I was in search of a register to purchase my few items. I settle on the "10 Items or Less" line since hey, it can't be that much of a wait, right? I mean, the three people in front of me can only have ten items or less, checking out should be a breeze. Should be, but remember, this IS Wal-Mart we're talking about here, nothing is ever as easy as it appears.
As I look at the woman ahead of the person in front of me, I see a shopping cart full of stuff. You've got to be kidding I thought, this woman can't possibly be in the "Speedy Checkout" lane. So, this is where my nerviness comes out; I decide to inform the woman of the rules of the line. I kindly tell her that the line that she is in is for folks with ten items or less. Surely she has made a mistake and simply needs to find another checkout line to get in. Wrong. She informs me that of course she knows this and that all the items in the cart are not for her, there are two other people that will be buying them with her. Ah, yeah sure, uh huh.
Another woman and a guy then get in line behind me, quickly noticing the lady with the full cart. "You've got to be kidding me," the woman blurts out. I couldn't help but chuckle, telling the woman of my conversation with the lady just before her arrival. She doesn't buy a word of this lady's story either. As the cart lady begins to get rung up, myself, the woman and the guy behind me can't help but shake our heads in disbelief. This lady not only is paying for the items all on one receipt, but she is having trouble finding all of her money. Amazing. The only thing that kept those of us waiting in line sane during this insanity was making jokes about the woman, Wal-Mart and waiting in line in general. Oh, and the guy's sexual orientation.
All I can say is, thank goodness I'm on medication for my anxiety. :)