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Added Mar. 28, 2007 by Morgan Mandel.
Added Mar. 26, 2007 by Morgan Mandel.



Who makes up jokes?
Especially those really sick, really funny jokes that happen after any event, whether good or bad.
Jeffery Dahmer had barely digested before the pundits had created an armada of sick jokes, the only thing sicker being my inability to remember even one to chronicle here.
(Of course, I’m kidding; What do you find in Jeffery Dahmer’s freezer? ….. Ben and Jerry!)
And once, when a plane was tragically downed in the Florida Everglades, I received a phone call the same morning from a friend, who wrapped up the conversation by asking, “What did the one Everglades alligator say to the other?”
Half afraid of the answer, I asked. “I don’t know, what?”
And he gleefully blurts, “See, airline food isn’t all that bad. Huhyuukk!!”
The only thing faster than the speed this gross joke was created was the speed in which it traveled. Later that same morning, this joke was repeated to me by at least three people, none of whom knew the other.
I’m kind of weird… not exactly a shocker, huh?…anyway, I’m kind of weird in that I cannot put a bad joke out of my mind until I repeat it to someone else. So I sauntered out into the office to repeat this joke to someone else, just so I can wipe it out you understand, and spied some dude in the office.
“Hey, dude in the office” I said (I call them all this), “What did the one Everglades alligator…” He interrupted, saying “… See, airline food isn’t all that bad. I heard the joke three times already/”
Then he says, “Here’s one. Three women are walking down the street wearing potato sacks. How can you tell which is the hooker?”
Ha, my turn. Happily I chirped, “The one whose sack says ‘Idaho’! I heard that joke four times yesterday!”
Speaking of potatoes, everyone I know has some once favorite food that he can’t choke down anymore because it was the last thing that went down before the stomach flu, food poisoning or a Michael Bolton concert.
Mine is hotdogs.
About twelve years ago, I loaded up a hotdog with mustard and a ton of chopped onions, and in three bites glomped the whole thing. It was so good I slorked another, then another. Little did I realize that my unnatural hunger was just my body loading up all the energy it could to sustain itself through the stomach flu it was busily incubating.
Well, you know what happened next. I ate those three hotdogs again, only in reverse. In fact, I think I upchucked four hotdogs! Years later, and I still gag every time I get near a hotdog. I couldn’t even watch Adam Sandler without provoking a gag reflex.
Idea to bored scientists, next time a plane crashes in the Everglades, see if you can somehow make all the alligators catch the flu. Then they’ll never want to have Purina People food again.
Norm
The Adventures of Guy … written by a guy (probably)
The Next Adventures of Guy … more wackiness
The Heat of the Moment
Added a post Nov. 11, 2007
I didn't use to swear that much, but the older I get, the more I swear. By now, I feel I have the right! I don't mind reading a book with swear words in it,if it's done right. If the bad guy swears... Read More »
Added a post May. 16, 2007
I'm fortunate to live amazingly close to the Love is Murder Conference, so it's a no brainer for me to go every year. I haven't missed one of them. Hanley does a great job of mixing fans and author... Read More »
Added a reply Apr. 30, 2007
Jane, Your name is easy to spell and pronounce and remember. Those are all good pluses. A lot of people get mixed up with my real name, so I figured why create more confusion. Better to have an eas... Read More »
Posted by Morgan Mandel on April 21st, 2008 at 10:55am —
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Posted by Morgan Mandel on April 7th, 2008 at 8:20am —
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Posted by Morgan Mandel on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:39pm —
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If you've got a few moments, check out my RSS feed from my group blog at http://acmeauthorslink.blogspot.com, found in the bottom left column
It's about the Friends of the Library sale from last Friday. Some of you may have been there, done that.
Also, if you feel inclined, send me out a friend request. I'm over my limit of 100 and it will take forever to erase the almost 2000 I sent out.
Thanks,
Morgan Mandel
Posted by Morgan Mandel on November 1st, 2007 at 5:39am —
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Posted by Morgan Mandel on August 8th, 2007 at 12:58am —
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It's sort of eclectic: music, women musicians, and my crime thriller.
I'll be back with more comments later!
Susan
I'm so excited to actually be communicating in the 21st Century mode! How'd you make your page background look so awesome? What other sites are you on??
Nice to meet a fellow RWAer. :)
--Candace
Margaret (note that I cannot even spell my name in the last post)
I'm delighted to be your friend. Not everyone can stand those hairy legs in my picture , but the crime people are great and don't seem to care if I have hairy legs or wear sunglasses while reading.
Margaet
I am still reading the "blog" bit about houses and manuscripts - yep, a variety of stuff here. Have a good New Year.
Morgan Mandel
SANTAS CHRISTMAS LOUNGE
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