A few years ago I managed to persuade a real life UK Private Eye to answer some questions for me, and the result appeared in the wonderful Crimespree Magazine. Here it is:



Life of PI



Picture the scene - the backstreet office building looks unloved and dejected. You walk up the dimly lit staircase and inhale the scents which hint at bodily functions you'd rather not dwell on too closely. Actually, it's more than a hint - the smells take you by the throat and assault your nose… Continue

"Oh my lord," tweeted Miss Sassy, turning round from the mirror in which she had been preening herself, "Whatever has happened to Peeve?"



"What do you mean?" asked Dimwit, taking a break from pulling out his feathers with his beak.

Miss Sassy pointed a perfectly manicured claw towards the bottom of the cage. A small green budgie lay stiff as a piece of cuttlefish on his back at the bottom of the cage, his little legs turned skywards, his beady eyes made beadier by…

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I've always wanted to write a historical...

It was 124 BC, and I was on my fourth dead body of the week. The first three were routine Christians thrown to the lions, but this one was different - the death of a young man wearing the purple robes of a senator would need to be investigated carefully and the obvious solution of…

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In 1928 Ronald Knox, who was tired of some of the detective story trends of the day, laid down his rules for detective fiction. Some of them sound really

strange to today's reader. I had a quiet lunchbreak at work one day so I

thought I would try and write a story that included all the elements you're not

supposed to have. First,…

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We have already established that I cannot do poetry, so here's another example:











“I am Sam, Sam Spade I am

Now with what can I help you ma’am?

Are you in a sort of jam?

Are you running – on the lam?

Are you victim of a scam?

Mistress of Jean Claude Van Damme?

Brothel madame?

Some cruel flimflam?

Now with what can I help you ma’am?”



My client was a strawberry blonde

A colouring of which I’m fond

“Oh… Continue