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"When people find out I'm an author, they ask me for a free book," whispered Burl Barer bombastically while shaking his forefinger in the face of fate ominously, yet with typical asymmetric flairs recently removed from the trunk of his car, "and I tell them, `WHAT?? If I were a butcher, would you ask me to throw you a bon appetite?"
Barer, best known for his succinct rambling slimmed down contemporary prose characterized by brevity and a significant lack of important cumbersome detail, doesn't own copies of his books. "Tod Goldberg bought me used copies of two of my literary masterpieces," groaned Barer gratefully while gracefully lighting up a flamboyant Camel, "but those were already grabbed up by people wandering through the house hinting broadly while winking seductively."
Taking time from his action packed schedule of avoiding anything resembling honest employment, Barer is making up authentic quotes for his latest true-crime book, MOM SAID KILL. His fictional character, Jeff Reynolds, star of the acclaimed remainder HEADLOCK, provides pithy commentary throughout the book. "My editor asked if I had an official release from Reynolds so we could use the quotes," said Barer while his eyes rolled in their sockets like greased ball bearings, "and I assured her that Mr. Reynolds and I were very close, and his release would be forthcoming once I set him up with a dowager of my acquaintance in the Valley."
Barer, best known for his succinct rambling slimmed down contemporary prose characterized by brevity and a significant lack of important cumbersome detail, doesn't own copies of his books. "Tod Goldberg bought me used copies of two of my literary masterpieces," groaned Barer gratefully while gracefully lighting up a flamboyant Camel, "but those were already grabbed up by people wandering through the house hinting broadly while winking seductively."
Taking time from his action packed schedule of avoiding anything resembling honest employment, Barer is making up authentic quotes for his latest true-crime book, MOM SAID KILL. His fictional character, Jeff Reynolds, star of the acclaimed remainder HEADLOCK, provides pithy commentary throughout the book. "My editor asked if I had an official release from Reynolds so we could use the quotes," said Barer while his eyes rolled in their sockets like greased ball bearings, "and I assured her that Mr. Reynolds and I were very close, and his release would be forthcoming once I set him up with a dowager of my acquaintance in the Valley."
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