I feel just terrible. If you were my children, the DCFS would have hauled you all away by now, and with good reason.

First things last:

The lovely Patti Abbott recently tossed down the gauntlet to write a flash-fiction incorporating that smash hit by The Eurythmics, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." Here is my entry, hosted at Powder Burn Flash by the virile Aldo Calcagno: "Everybody's Looking for Elisa Ortiz"

Also, this week, Title Fights went live. What it is, see, is every couple'a months, the editors call a theme and dispense titles based on that theme to the writers interested. The stories can be about whatever, so long as they tie into the title assigned. For this first go-'round, the theme was trucker lingo, and yours truly penned a little number called "T.R. Switch," and it sure was fun to write. Also, while you're there check out Josh Converse's "Baby Bear," and drop a line to them Title Fights cats and tell 'em you want in on the action.

On the non-fiction side of things, the aforementioned doll-face Patti Abbott invited me to participate in her weekly Friday's Forgotten Books column, and so I took on the 1953 novel by CIA agent and Watergate convict Howard Hunt entitled Lovers Are Losers. Have a gander.

And surprisingly to no one moreso than myself, I was asked by the fine folks over at Spinetingler Magazine to answer a few questions as part of their "Conversations with the Bookless" series. If you've ever wondered just what goes on in my addle-pated skull, you can get a glimpse here. But seriously, if you have, check yourself into the hospital.

Kids, it just doesn't end there. I have certainly been a busy boy. PopMatters, that glorious internet dispensary of smarty-pants criticism on all things popular (or at least, quasi- so), has been keeping me hopping as a staff writer for the Comics section (though I have delved into a couple other disciplines). This is in addition to my own monthly spoutings on the glory of comical books at my regular site, Attention, Children. Sequential Art. I and some of the other kids in the hall have been hard at work deconstructing the slasher film sub-genre over at Let's Kill Everybody! And, of the many fiction projects I am currently juggling, one is a story for Sgt. Jason Duke's crime-fiction contest, wherein you too may compete for not only cash prizes, but the envy and admiration of friends and enemies alike. So get on that, forthwith.

Anyways, enough about me. What have you been up to?

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