Questions for you moms out there...

[terry bowman]

A little research:

How old were your kids when they went from crib to bed?

How old were they when they started speaking in sentences?

Thanks in advance.

[Cyndi Martin]

Mine was in my bed most of the time. She was a good talker but she's 14 now so I can't remember exactly when she spoke in sentences. It was before she was two but all kids are different.

[Margot Renne Payne]

My daugher (now 16) went to a bed at 18 months--we needed the crib for her one month old brother! He'd outgrown the cradle. At seventeen months she was climbing out of her crib and landing on the hardwood floors. The pediatrician advised that we lower the crib rails and crib and pad the floor, because I needed my sleep with a newborn! I told him she was beginning to look like a poster child for Child Abuse Prevention Month!

My son--now 15 years-old-- loved his crib. He never climbed out. He didn't want to move from his "brown bed" to a new bed, but finally did at 3 years old. His sister would climb into his crib with him and act like a maniac! She also began walking at 10 months old.--which was horrible since I was pregnant. I used this great harness which kept her from getting run over by cars in parking lots, lost in the mall, etc. and acutally gave her more freedom than if I tried to hold on to her (impossible). People without children gave me dirty looks and said things like, "So, what, you think she's a dog?" People with children asked, "Where can I buy one of those?"

Our son began walking on his first birthday--and he was a climber. He'd try to climb on everything--everywhere. We could only open our windows about one inch from the bottom. When he was 2 1/2 and took swim lessons, he climbed to the top of the diving board (with the swim instructor) to jump off the high dive! I about had a heart attack. He wanted to do it over and over. I agreed as long as they spotted him up the stairs and the length of the board.

Our daughter started talking early--before her first birthday. I don't remember when our son began talking. I didn't let them sleep with us--I had trouble enough sharing a bed with their dad! Plus, I wanted them to be able to sleep in their own beds. I truly believe it helps build a sense of autonomy. My goal from the day my son was born was to have them on the same nap schedule. It took 4 months--but they both took a 10 am nap and a 2 pm nap. I either napped or read during this time! Forget the housework and laundry. It is exhausting chasing after 2 kids and I needed my time to read! Also, I am very selfish. I wanted them in bed so I could have time to myself in the evening. Even when they were very young they could keep their lights on and have books in bed until they fell asleep--and they did. As long as they were quiet they could keep the light on and "read." I had to explain this many times to babysitters. The worst threat was when they got rowdy and had the risk of the light going off and no books! My son loved to take things apart. I had friends that would save stuff for me. Several nights in a row my 3 year-old son took a fan to bed with him--on a large tray--to take apart.

There are no easy answers. Everyone experiences children and child-rearing differently. Partially because of and in spite of our own parents. And I think the age when one becomes a parent plays a large factor. I was 35 when our daughter was born and 37 with our son. To this day I usually start my sentences with, "I didn't live to be 52 years-old (it changes!) to have you tell me what to do!" Another one is, "Believe me, you'll need this to talk about in therapy one day." And, there's always, "So, trade me in for a newer, nicer model."

I also talk to them and have always told them that our job as a parents is to make them as independent and self-sufficient as possible. I think that starts very early in life--and makes for happier children and parents.

I think that's more than you asked for. It's a process.

[Margot Renne Payne]

I want to add, we did have Saturday and Sunday morning "snuggle time"--when both kids got in bed with us. Or, if we were home for a holiday. A very special time to cuddle and as they got a little older we had some great and very funny talks! Also, every night before they went to their own beds they got into our bed. I sat in the middle--a kid on each side--and read to them.

Even, now, sometimes if I am bed reading my daugher will get in bed with me and read her own book.

Our Jack Russell, Buddy, has always slept with us. He's 10 years-old.

[Christa M. Miller]

Margot, I couldn't agree with you more about our job being to make them as independent and self-sufficient as possible. But the ways you reach that goal are quite varied. For instance, we do cosleep with both boys, and I wear the baby part of the day. But they couldn't possibly be more autonomous for their ages!

Some kids are naturally clingier than others. Some are clingy because they feel insecure. Others are "autonomous" but only because they've given up on their parents ever being there for them. And some are naturally autonomous.

We all work with our kids' and our own personalities, as well as how we were raised. But the *methods* - as long as they provide the love and support each child needs - rarely have as much to do with children's happiness as the parenting that goes behind them.

[Louisa Christy]

Kids are so different. As a teacher and a mom, I have seen very precocious toddlers. Even more so nowadays than 20 years ago. Much of this is due to the rampant tv watching of inappropriate material for young age groups.
The more involved the parents are, the different each child is. The first child tends to get more attention and thus seems to be more driven to accomplish much more.
My son spoke in complete sentences at age two, spoke French, German, and English. He began reading at this age as well. He potty trained himself at 1 1/2 and seemed a complete little genious. He's still pretty smart, BS in Mathematics.
My daughter, on the other hand, didn't speak completely until age 3 1/2. She wanted him to be her speaker, but when she finally did speak, it was in complete sentences. She was not interested in langjuages, although she understood them perfectly. She stayed in her crib until she was 2 1/2 while her brother slept in a bed at 18 months. He stayed in his bed, she wandered alot, but always ended up back in her bed.
In preschool classes I have had very precise speakers and mumblers to no talkers. 1/3 have wet their pants, won't take naps etc. Others I have had to keep busy because there brains want actvity. It just depends.
My daughter still doesn't waste words. She prefers to put them to paper and write. My son, is vocal. Ah, such is life, we are all different.