Eek, looks like I forgot yesterday. Well, I did sort of lose focus on the day because I had to to drop some mail off because the mail came too early and then I had to get some grocery items and then I went to lunch spontaneously with Barb and Jody and we did spend an hour and half talking. And then I had to come home and walk Tug and then deal with laundry and vacuuming and then the day just was away from me.

Finished MOSCOW RULES by Daniel Silva. 'Twas a good entry in the series but ... The ending was mostly done off stage. The good guys are racing toward the border and then [poof!] it's later. The stuff that happened next was all told in retrospect. This was not a satisfying type of ending when you've invested time and 400 pages to the story. So anyway, time to choose another read and I've got about five contenders so I'll let you know after the auditions.

Today the Steelers play their playoff game. Keep your fingers crossed that it goes well for the sake of peace in my house. It's the later afternoon game so I asked Steve if he wanted something fun for dinner while the game is ending and he said he'd think about it which means I'll have to bug him again and it'll get decided at the last minute.

Yesterday and today I have been scouring the want ads on all the resources. More are being listed I think now that the holidays are past, but the options are still bleak so I torture myself wondering what I should do. I've invested so much in my graduate level studies that I HAVE to make use of it and get a job that pays better than $25k/year (note: which is actually decent and hard to get in this area - Billings sucks in the job market). I have the knowledge and the know how but I can't prove it by my resume. Why does it all come down to the resume? Because someone hasn't dedicated themselves to one job for the past 10-20 years doesn't mean they can't do the job and don't know how to work. I've been working, damnit, for over 20 years and I haven't found the thing I love to do or the opportunities to rise within the organization meant having to move somewhere when I can't. And I'm sorry I'm ambitious but I do want to rise within an organization. Right now I can't stay in the lower levels because I can DO MORE than that. I'm a good leader; I'm a good administrator of business. I just get so frustrated.

And when I talk about the ideas I have for starting my own business, I get this glazed look in the eyes or reasons for it to not work or someone will say that I've tried things before and they never worked out or get on me for not going for an opportunity that someone else started when I can see the flaws for it not working. I'm just frustrated. I know it takes time and the holidays hurt more than it helped. And taking a filler job right now (and there's a couple things listed in the classifieds that I could do for a three month period) hurts my resume more than it helps even though it may bring in more money for a short period of time. What's the answer?

So, one just gets through one day at a time. Need to do clothes laundry today. Vacuum downstairs. Walk Tug. Put time in on projects.

Options for the next-to-be-read are:
CITY OF SHADOWS by Ariana Franklin
A BITTER CHILL by Jane Finnis
THE WITCH IN THE WELL by Sharan Newman
THE RULES OF THE GAME by Leonard Downie (this one is a strong candidate)

Gave the Brit crime drama Waking the Dead a try on DVD. The premise is good -- a cold case squad solving crimes using forensics that are available now that weren't then -- but they yell at each other too much, so much hysteria it turned me off. I mean unprofessionally getting emotional when it wasn't called for. Drama drama drama and not the good kind. So I sent it back and awaiting my next in queue -- more of Veronica Mars Season 2. In the meantime, I've got Battlestar Galactica season two checked out from the library so I've got things to occupy that way.

The Blog of the Day is The Thrillionth Page, found at This is a blog by Carolyn Jean Jackson, who describes her page as a "reader/writer blog devoted to thrill and adventure reads of all kinds: fantasy, urban fantasy, romance, paranormal romance, erotica, historicals, mysteries, monstery intrigue and more." The entry for today is worth repeating here-- It's her book experience ranking levels:

* Love affair: I crave it, it takes hold of my mind, it has me in its thrall. Very rare. I didn't care. I loved it.

* Passionate crave read: Almost a love affair, but not quite. A passionate crave read is full of excitement and magic, and when I’m not reading it I wish I was. Paradoxically, though, I often try to read slow to make the goodness last.

* Damn fine read: This is a rollicking good read that I look forward to. This might be a B+ for me. Most books I talk about here fall into the damn fine read range.

* Serviceable: The book generally works, nothing special. Good enough to finish. Some serviceable books take me forever to finish, others are page turners but still, merely serviceable.

* Hostage situation: I want to leave but it won’t let me go because I have to find out what happens goddammit! Extreme measures during a hostage situation may include skipping chunks, reading only dialogue or the first sentence of every paragraph.

* ROI situation: (return on investment) This is where I force myself to finish a book because I invested a lot of time in the reading of it before I realized I wish I wasn’t reading it. Typically, a serviceable book will convert to an ROI situation when I'm pretty far along.

* The cautionary tale: A DNF (did not finish) I still read a bunch of and get a lot out of, because it’s like a warning or lesson for me as a writer: don’t let this happen to your hero. Pay attention to the build up or you'll have this problem. This sex scene leaves me cold because of that problem. I read such a book with the sort of attention I give to scenes of car crashes or fires. A primal instinct forces me to look for a while, and then it’s like, enough.

* The mercy kill DNF: This is a DNF due to boredom. Set gently on floor with a sigh.

* The multiple vicious stab wound DNF: This is a DNF due to an intense negative reaction. If it’s a book I actually own, it usually involves some physical abuse, like hurling it across the room.

Just lovely, isn't it? So descriptive of what we go through. :)

Much love,
PK the Bookeemonster

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