on growing old

[Kat]

You know it is a sad thing when you reach the stage where you have to parent your own parent. If you are lucky this is a person whom you have looked up to your whole life. Really for me my mom was my first real life hero. She was strong and independent in a time when moms, and women in general, were not. Yes she got married and had kids but that did not, in and of itself, define her. And when that marriage ended she taught me more about grit, determination and strength than anyone every will.
She also taught me to trust in myself and my own opinion, to be my own person and to accept myself, even when it seemed no one else would ever. She taught me to question authority, to be curious, to laugh at myself and the absurdity that is part of our everyday lives. And she taught me to love - not only myself but the world around me.

So how is it I wonder, that that this woman whom I have looked up to and
admired for all my life has become so frail and helpless, so uncertain of herself and everything. When did she become so old? And what the hell can I do about it?

[Kat]

Thank you for the kind thoughts.

You know I was remembering a promise I made to my own daughter. When she was 4 years old her preschool took a field trip to the Field Museum. Seemed harmless enough to me, little did I know. That night she asked me about the mummies and I got to explain the concept of death to a suddenly very scared little girl. After appeasing her with the silly thought of her pet cat as a kitty angel with a halo and wings, she made me promise that I would never grow old and die. I wonder if I ever made my mom make me that same promise.

[LC Fraser]

Hi Kat,

I know what you mean - went through much the same with my mom. It is hard.

Hope you had a good Easter!

[Julie Morrigan]

Hi Kat, your mom sounds like a very special person. You're blessed to have enjoyed such a great relationship with her. My mam is elderly too, now, and we also have changed places. All I can suggest is remember her as she was and love her as she is. Be strong, but don't be too proud to accept help if it's offered, and make time for yourself, too. (Easier said than done, I know.) Very best wishes, Jools.