A-Z Killing Spree - Verses U-Z

[Donna Moore]

U is for Umberto who was caught Unawares
With his trousers Unzipped at the foot of the stairs,
By Ursula who took Umbrage at the Unwitting fella
And stabbed him in the Umbilicus with her pointed Umbrella



V is for Victor - Veterinary surgeon from Venice
Who practiced on humans - the Villainous menace.
When Virile Vince Visited expecting a swift appendectomy
That Vagabond Vic gave Vince a Vasectomy.
Poor Vince understandably turned Vigilante
And shot poor Vic in his delicto flagrantes.



W is for Wallace, a Wizard from Wells
Who tried very hard but just couldn't cast spells.
He tried to conjure up a Woman with sex on the brain
But ended up in Wandsworth with a Wrestler called Wayne.
When Wayne embraced Wallace and squeezed him too tight,
Wallace passed out and died of sheer fright.



X is for Xavier, an X-ray astronomer
Who could do marvellous things with a mercury thermometer
I cannot divulge because most were X-rated
But I'll tell you they left his girlfriend Xena elated.
So when with a Xylophonist from Xiangstan she found him in bed
She gassed them with Xenon and left them for dead.



Y is for Yves, a Yachtsman no less
Who when Yvonne said 'no' thought she really meant 'yes'
The Yobbish Yahoo tried it on with Yvonne
So she kicked him overboard; he Yelled, and was gone.



Z is for Zebediah a Zoot-suited Zoologist
Who began to court Zesty Zara, an animal psychologist.
When he told her the Zebra was a Zodiacal sign
She realised that Zeb was out of his mind,
That he was a Zero, a nothing, a phony,
So she sneaked some Zinc Sulphate into his Zabaglione.



The End (and aren't you glad?!)

[Donna Moore]

Yvonne - all I can say is...I'm sorry.

Rose - LOL - very funny!

Lynne - someone else mentioned that - a male friend of mine did grab hold of his family jewels for three days afterwards whenever he saw me (and I DON'T think it was in a good way!) I'm glad you enjoyed it, and please apologise to your husband for me rather than kick him!

[LC Fraser]

My husband says your stuff is sex obsessed which he also claims goes to show that all women who like high heels are likewise. I think I am going to get the zapper heels that Mary Saums mentioned on her page. Shall I give him an extra kick for you?

Fun poem. I enjoyed reading the whole thing out loud to my captive audience (he will do anything if I will just wear said heels)

[Rose]

D is for Donna,
A Darling inDeed
Fulfilling us Daily,
with humor and (just lost my inspiration;
my muse left me to get a drink. Or something)

Thanks for the chuckles.

[Yvonne Klein]

Even though Yvonne is a pretty obvious choice for Y, I do feel obscurely honoured.