A-Z Killing Spree - Verses N-T

[Donna Moore]

N is for Norman, from Loch Ness, a Ned
With a Nylon clad body, and empty space in his head,
Fell out of a window while escaping detection,
Not murder, just Darwinian Natural selection.



O is for Oswald - Optometrist from Oklahoma
Who was found in his Office one day in a coma.
After making suggestions Obscene and Offensive
To his secretary, Olive, who went on the defensive,
And hit him on the head with the base of the phone,
Making a bit of a mess of his Occipital bone.



P for Percy and Phil, Paleontologists Par excellence,
Father and son, on a dig in Paris (that's France)
A fossil found by Percy caused quite a Palaver
Sending Phil into Paroxysms of jealousy at his father.
With Poison he injected his Pater's Pastrami,
And was tried for Parricide - but found utterly barmy.



Q is for Quentin, a Quantum mechanic,
Whose girfriend, Queenie, about dancing was manic
So he left his work early at the government Quango
And took Queenie out to a dancehall to tango.
But while Quentin amused himself solving Quadratic equations,
Queenie with a Quarterback had carnal relations.
So Quentin challenged the Quarterback to a duel
But the Quarterback fought foul, not by Queensberry rules
He grabbed poor Quentin by the scruff of the neck
And threw him in Quicksand off the coast of Quebec.



R is for Reggie, a Rockstar from Rome
Who modelled himself on Dee Dee Ramone
His Rock and Roll antics were quite Rabelasian
And he always lived down to his bad Reputation
So no-one was surprised when he ended up dead,
When on stage with a Rabid Rat he bit off its head.



S is for Simeon, Serial Seducer from Streatham,
Got some Sausages in the post and, Starving hungry, et 'em.
But those Sausages were Sabotaged and Stuffed with Salmonella
Sent to Simeon by his latest victim, Stella.

T is for Theo, a Televangelist who Transgressed
And was found in a Toyota with Tiffany, undressed.
With Theatrical Tears for TV viewers' Titillation
He Told all his sins to a Tantalised nation.
But his Tormented wife found his behavious appalling
So she killed him and wrapped him in a Tarpaulin.
Took him to a Taxidermist in Tulsa called Tony
And had him stuffed and mounted so she'd never be lonely.

[Donna Moore]

LOL Jack, I DID warn you!

[JackBludis]

You stretched the T a little didn't you?

[Donna Moore]

No - but I wish I had!

[LC Fraser]

Sadly there were no children in the room to corrupt with this one. Colin said he thought we were just up to N but I said no we were up to N to T and he asked "entity" -- did you do that on purpose?