Sacrificing Body Parts

[Jordan Dane]

Sacrificing Body Parts

I sacrificed a body part to write my debut novel – No One Heard Her Scream. Now that's commitment.

Some of you are waiting for the punch line, but I suspect there are more than a few unpublished authors out there who by now are looking down at their own bodies and wondering what they could do without. Anything for the cause, but before doing something drastic, let me explain.

While recovering from major surgery, I wrote SCREAM in six weeks during a medical leave from my day job. Anything for time off work, I say. (No, writing is not work.) The book, along with two others, sold in auction with the help of my brilliant literary agent Meredith Bernstein. Perhaps if I had known dismemberment was the answer, I might've made a donation sooner. Thank God I never had time to contemplate that macabre perspective.

I might be going out on a limb here (pun intended), but I have to admit it. Writers are a strange lot. (Duh! Alert the media.) Instead of worrying about the surgery or the post-operative pain, I focused on how I could possibly write lying flat on my back. Did I have to be upright to think properly? Usually in the prone position, I have no great use for intellectual pursuits of any kind.

"Think about it," she said coyly with one eyebrow raised.

I believe this is a topic worthy of discussion. So your homework assignment for today—What body part(s) would you sacrifice to sell a book—AND WHY? I want details please. And feel free to speculate on others who might make a worthwhile donation on your behalf. The possibilities are astronomical.

Talk amongst yourselves and get back to me.

[Jordan Dane]

Who needs two when they're so big? I think you got that quote from J Howard Marshall about Anna Nicole.

[Dennis Leppanen]

You kwit? Right in the middle of the taking of my self-inventory. I need my liver, it flushes out the scotch that motivates me and makes my characters sooo interesting. And, it really helps the 'babes'---why they're all 'tens.'

Okay, a tad chauvinistic, anything that I have two of, lemme see, eyes? Naw I need both. Ears, huh what was that, Oh yeah, I only have one. Damn pitbull.

Legs, arms, lips, kidneys, hearts, ---hearts, yeah only one is beatin' right now.

I got it, balls---who needs two when they're so big?

[Jordan Dane]

OK--you topped me. I quit!!!

[Daniel Hatadi]

You may have not revealed your appendix, but it sure didn't take long to move on to your uterus.

And I didn't mean the hair on my head. That's easy. The rest ... that will HURT.

[Jordan Dane]

I tried to tell Dan that a girl can't just REVEAL her appendix on the first comment. What kind of gal does he think I am?

And yes, I say throw in a body part for Lent. Sure beats a lifetime of fish on Fridays. (recovering catholic too)

[Karyn J. Powers]

I could certinly go one falopian tube. I've still got my appendix, but since it really doesn't do anything, does it count as a sacrifice? And as a recovering catholic might I just add wow! That's quite the lenten committment! Make chocolate so yesterdays news.

[Jordan Dane]

I laughed out loud with that milk bottle reference. But as far as the ear lobe thing, Van Gogh sacrificed his ear for art. Personally, I think he didn't want to hear one more critic say, "That's not anatomically correct, is it?"

[LaTanya Pattillo]

Okay-
No hair. I need everything else to live and write, but my "milk bottles" are only superficial at this point. So they might be able to go. This is a really strange but interesting topic. I really like my butt so that has to stay. Question-if you cut of the earlobe, can you still hear? Any docs in the house?

[Jordan Dane]

It counts in my book. I had a bestselling author answer this blog with a private note to say she wouldn't give up her fat ass but she had plenty to share. She'd like to wittle it down to something tight and sassy.

[Jordan Dane]

OMGGG---A woman who knowssss. I'm talking about a real appendage here. Like Dan, giving up hair lacks commitment.

I noticed Dan backed out of this conversation. Wise man.