Back to Reality

[Donna Moore]

Saturday I got up and looked out of my window at Emily and Dwayne's house. More snow had fallen overnight. They took me to the airport and, needless to say, I had a good cry.

Back in Anchorage there were cars and roads and people and bustle - all the things I had got used to being without in the past week. Marti from the Authors To Schools programme kindly picked me up and took me to my hotel. On the way we stopped off at her house and, as we were driving along her street, there was a moose and her baby casually standing in someone's front garden. I went all the way to the Bush and never saw a moose. Then, in a suburb of Anchorage here were two about 6 feet away from me. I expected to round the corner and see a black bear sitting on a porch with a can of Budweiser and a bag of Cheetos.

I was at the airport at 3.30 the next morning. Checking in with absolutely no voice was good fun. When I got on the plane in Seattle I was starting to feel a little rough. I had the window seat - J. This Spanish (I thought) guy got on and said "I think you're in the wrong seat." "No", I said, "I'm seat J". "I'm H, and that comes after J unless I didn't study well at school." I refrained from saying that yes indeed, he didn't study well at school and just said "G is there, J is here." Had he politely said "Oh, I really wanted a window seat" I would have got up and let him have it. But he was so rude. He was still ranting on when the big sweaty guy in front of me got up and said "She's in J. It's the window seat. That's G over there." Thank you, my knight in sweaty armour.

So, Mr Annoying sat down. Despite the fact that my nose was blocked, the stench of the cheap aftershave that he had apparently bathed in about five minutes before wafted over me like...well...like a really strong smelling cheap aftershave. There is no suitable simile to describe the fug of gag-inducing Eau De Stink. Oh goodie, 9 and a half hours. By the end of it, I was going to be hallucinating about diving into a swimming pool filled with the stuff. It couldn't possibly get worse. He turned to the guy on the other side of him "I'm from Sicily." Excellent. I had seriously pissed off a mafia don. There would be no sleep for me just in case I woke up with a horse's head on the headrest next to me.

I had a look at the list of films I could watch. Very unlike me I chose a horror film. Now, I'm not good with horror so I seldom watch it. I'll admit it, I'm a wuss. But the listing had a film called 1408, based on a Stephen King film, and starring John Cusack. Now, I like John Cusack and I thought "OK, I'm on a plane with 600 other people, the screen is 2 inches square, I'm sitting next to a man who smells like a sewer - how scary can this film be?" So I started to watch it, and it was pretty good. Not too scary although I did squeak a couple of times. They brought the food round, I carried on watching. They came to collect the trays. My eyes were glued to the screen. I lifted up my tray to pass to the air stewardess as she came round. Something really REALLY scary happened in the film. Well, what else could I do? I shrieked (which luckily came out a mix between croak and squeak), and flung my tray up in the air. Bits of food, plastic cutlery, cups, little plastic trays, and a roll which was so hard I could have battered my seatmate to death with it, flew into the air. Sadly, what goes up must come down. And it did. All over Don Smelleone and the couple in the row in front. They were picking bits of pasta out of their hair for the rest of the flight. Whoops.

So, that was the end of my wonderful vacation. I had the time of my life. So many special memories, so many friends made, so many new experiences. The scenery was breathtaking, but even that was dwarfed by the amazing experience I had in the Bush. I loved speaking to the children in the schools and came home with a huge bag full of drawings and stories. I have a few of them stuck to my fridge and will be rotating them regularly. I left some money as prizes in a writing competition and I've already had a few entries - some of them really good.

Apart from the trip being a lot of fun, I learned so many things - including that you can eat brown bears but not black bears, that I need more practice driving an ATV, that I can embarrass myself by crying every day, that ice cream made of fish and Crisco tastes delicious, and that the duct tape holding in the window of a plane doesn't need to be scary. Mostly, I learned that I would love to go back to Alaska one day, and if I do, I will definitely be going back to Aniak, Kalskag and Sleetmute.

Thank you to everyone for bearing with me and reading my nonsense, and for your comments either here or via e-mail. It's been a lot of fun, and almost made me wish I kept a regular blog. I shall be updating the blog at least once more, mid November time, just to report on the competition and updates on things happening in the Bush - I'm keeping in touch with as many of the teachers and children who can put up with me. If anyone wants me to let them know when the post goes up, please e-mail me at donnaem at gmail dot com.

Until then, I shall leave you with some more photos of gorgeous scenery, friends made, and the wonderful teachers and children of the Kuskokwim River villages.

(I don't want to clog Crimespace up with loads of pics, so I've just included a couple here - there are loads more at my trip blog:
http://alaskanmisadventures.blogspot.com

Love,
Donna

[Karen J. Laubenstein]

Oh boy - needed these laughs tonight, Donna - the plane horror flick and resultant spills were a classic! And know what you mean about the sense of returning to reality. We get it everytime we leave Alaska.