Denver - Left Coast Crime

[Donna Moore]

Whenever I go to conventions my first post about it always seems to be "Arrived safely in X. My luggage, however, is in Y." So, how boring it is to have to report that I arrived safely in Denver. My luggage however, remained in Chicago. It's done that before. Twice. I think my big red suitcase is having an affair with a blue Samsonite from Chicago.

I made my connecting flight with 5 minutes to spare - having to go through Immigration (the usual questions about my sanity), Customs (oh why, oh WHY did I accede to Adrian's request to bring some syrup sponge puddings and custard - have you ANY idea how difficult that is to explain?), followed by a 2 mile hike across Chicago airport, check in again ("By the way Miss Moore, you have been specially selected to undergo a full security screening." Now, I don't know about you, but "Specially selected" conjures up pictures of lottery wins and shiny new cars, not the sound of big beefy men snapping the latex gloves in anticipation), and then being pulled out of the security line for my specially selected security check - wanded, probed, interrogated and my spare knickers being pulled out of my hand luggage and held up to derision "Ma'am - are these YOURS?" My luggage, as I later found out, was also interrogated in the same way. When we eventually had a tearful reunion the next morning there was a little note in it from the TSA "Your luggage has been opened and searched. Sorry - one of the sniffer dogs ate the custard. Oh, and by the way, what's with all the shoes?")

I arrived at the hotel and discovered that my room is at the very furthest point from the elevators that it is possible to be. I had to lay a trail of breadcrumbs so that I could find my way back. I was meeting my friend Judy for dinner and with half an hour to spare I decided to have a quick shower to wash off the grime of a 20 hour journey (plus the dirty pawprints of the latex gloved men). I had just stepped out of the shower when there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a cheery smiling man with a tray bearing champagne and chocolate covered strawberries.

"Hello ma'am, this is your Romance Package."

I laughed "I'm sorry," I said "It's not for me, sadly."

"Sorry, ma'am, what was that?"

I swallowed the huge chocolate covered strawberry I had sneaked into my mouth "I said, I'm sorryu, it's not mine."

"You don't have a romance?"

I restrained myself from throwing myself sobbing at his shiny buttoned uniform. "I think you have the wrong room."

He went away. I cast longing glances at the rest of the chocolate covered strawberries and shut the door with a sigh. 2 minutes later the phone rang. "Ma'am we tried to deliver some champagne and chocolate to you from a Mr Andrew Jackson." Well, what a surprise. They WERE for me after all! My new man is definitely a keeper. How nice is that? I was really touched. Needless to say, I had eaten half the chocolate covered strawberries before the room service guy could say "Have a nice day."

So then it was off out to dinner. I had antelope steak which was rather yummy. I don't know whether antelopes are native to Denver but it was extremely tasty.

The next morning my roommate Jan arrived. I had been hoping to sneak out to the mall before she came because she was under strict instructions not to let me buy anything while I am here, but she foiled me. I said "I'm just nipping out to Cherry Creek Mall."

She gave me a suspicious look. "Why?"

I HAVE to get some presents. And some perfume." I said innocently.

"No shoes?"

"Nooooooooooooooo, of COURSE not - whatever makes you think that?"

"I'll come with you."

So off we set. What a lovely mall. Not only did it have a Macys and a Nordstroms, but also a Nieman Marcus and a Saks. I was in shopping heaven. Well, I had to take advantage. I hit Macys like a fat locust and bought several bargains. Then the shoe department at Nordstroms. For the record. Jan does not like the blue boots, hates the pink and black shoes, is OK with the black Timberlands and has no opinion on either the brown check or the black pinstripe shoes. I tried, that's all I can say. No pleasing some people. Of course, including the ones I brought with me I now have 12 pairs of shoes to take back with me. Minor problem.

That evening was the 4MA dinner. There were about 20 of us and it was so nice to see everyone again and have hugs. Every year I come to these things it's less about the panels and the events and much much more about the people. We had a lovely meal (buffalo burger and an orange pomegranate martini), a great chat, and lots of fun. Then back to the hotel and into the bar. More old friends arrived and a good time was had by all.

Today, the panels start and then this evening I am off on the Tequila Bus Tour. It's a tour of Denver's famous crime sites. With tequila. What more could a girl ask for?

[LC Fraser]

I just want to see all the shoes. Do some have lovely spikey heels? I so need a shoe fix!

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

I haven't seen them, but I suspect I'm with Jan and the TSA on the shoes.

And tell your new man that he's setting a bad example for the rest of us by doing things like sending chocolate covered strawberries.