Now there's an authority if there ever was one...

[EDWARD C MORGAN]

Yes, my friends, MTV - the people who bring you "The Real World" and "Jersey Shore" - have called Justin Beiber's new memoir (yes, I know he's only 16, but you know), a "major literary release."

I don't know...for some reason I've just been chuckling about that all morning.

[I. J. Parker]

Well, they know where their bread is buttered. :) (Certainly not by professional writers.)

[Jon Loomis]

Meanwhile, SUNY Albany has cut its classics, French, Italian and theater programs. We get the culture we deserve, I guess.

[Robert Christopher]

That would be one H.L. Mencken who so acidly noted that no one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. ;)

[Benjamin Sobieck]

Now I finally understand why Kurt Cobain had to kill himself: to avoid this insufferable shit. I'm thinking the same thing. Heroin, shotgun, Neil Young lyrics and towels for the people who find me.

P.S. There's also the Beiber biopic coming out in time for Valentine's Day next year. Not that I have the Beiber Fever, but it pays to know when American culture has jumped the shark, then blew a hole in the shark, and finally pissed in the hole of the shark. I heard the shark wrote a "major literary release" about that.

[EDWARD C MORGAN]

AND I like the Foo Figher's better.

AND it was Courtney's fault.

[Benjamin Sobieck]

It's funny, because I actually started out liking Foo Fighters THEN moved on to Nirvana. Most people do it the other way around.

Courtney should go kill Beiber, too. She's good at making it look like a suicide.

[EDWARD C MORGAN]

hahahaha.

[EDWARD C MORGAN]

Ben, NO! Much sweeter revenge is to laugh at him in 10 years, when his fame is reduced to being a judge on some lame reality show on Bravo.

[Benjamin Sobieck]

It'll be a show where contestants compete to see who can style the best Beiber bowl haircut. Somehow they'll stretch it into a 13-episode season. Probably because 10 years of crack means the Beibs takes a whole episode to stammer out the winner, a la Ozzy Osbourne.

[EDWARD C MORGAN]

LOL. Yea, but there's a huge difference. Ozzy rocked in his day. Bieber just... whatever it is ... in his puberty.

[Jon Loomis]

Hell yes to that. Ozzy may only have two functioning neurons, but he's also got perfect pitch and the vocal power of an opera star--i.e., actual talent.

I actually kind of feel sorry for the Beiber kid. It would be tough to be the male equivalent of Hannah Montana on a number of levels.

[EDWARD C MORGAN]

I know it is cliche, but Ozzy rules.