Short film serial internet thing idea in the crime genre

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

Every now and again I make short films. I've even got one up on Youtube. Unfortunately, it's been seen by less people than the video with the possessed cat. Given I think I'm more talented than a wailing cat (albeit only marginally), I've been trying to come up with a new film idea to take Youtube by storm!

...

...

Turns out it's not that easy. I have decided that it should be a serial of 3-5 minute installments and that it needs to be funny. More importantly, it needs to be cheap. But it still needs something more, something like... a genre.

Hey, crime's a genre! Excellent.

However, absolutely everybody on Crimespace is going to know more about crime than me and the kind of conventions that would be good to poke fun at, so this is a request for any and all suggestions and maybe, just maybe, you'll get to see them brought to life in fuzzy, badly-acted, cheaply-shot internet video goodness.

And yes, I know the obvious thing to do would be the adventures of crime-solving cat (which would probably be a handpuppet due to the lack of budget for animatronics or a real cat), but I'm looking for out-of-the-box thinking here.

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

Yeah, when I wrote about this on my blog I mentioned that the one thing I wanted to avoid was the PI/Noir angle, which, you're right, has been parodied to death.

'Go to Helena Handbasket', heh-heh, that's good, heh-heh. I'm not ruling out number 2.

Number 3 seems sound though.

[Mary Reagan]

Can you imagine a film of GO to HELENA HANDBASKET, it would be a riot. Wonder if you could get Donna to star in it.

[Sandra Ruttan]

That would be great! And I'm sure Russel could get some leverage on Donna to help persuade her...

[Donna Moore]

Ha ha very funny Mary! My mum says I have a face for radio. However, if Johnny Depp is in line for any of the male characters then I am quite willing to...ahem...audition him.

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

I've just posted up 'Nothing Travels Faster Than Bad News' in the Videos section. It is 15 minutes long and the last two minutes of credits are the best bit, but if nothing else it should give an idea of possible production values - ie. very cheap.

[Keith Snyder]

Actually the crime puppet thing has been done...

The Lady from Sockholm

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

I guess that's sock puppets out then. And I have done sock puppets before in a short called 'Curse of the Pharaohs, so it's perhaps best to do something new.

[John McFetridge]

Have you seen the "Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager" stuff at YouTube?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0

Might be inspirational.....

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

I was watching it the other day along with Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series and, yes, they both contributed to my urge to try my hand at a new film. Though I'm not going to kid myself that this could be as successful as either of them.

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

'The Jessica Fletcher Effect'

It came to me while shaving last night. It's only a first idea, but I reckon it has some potential. You may have already guessed what it's about; the hero suddenly finds that wherever he goes, someone dies. Worse still, he gets dragged into solving the murder (which has probably been pinned on his nephew, who's naturally innocent). It might start something like this:

Close up on a guy, head hung low, matted hair. He looks up, straight at camera. His eyes are dark, sunken and bloodshot. This is JACK.

JACK: They call it the Jessica Fletcher effect.
You already know what it is, but you don't
know what it's like...

He tries to find the words to explain, but he can't. His head sinks in frustration. A moment passes. He looks up again.

JACK: But maybe I can show you.

Quick-fire montage of death. Dead bodies with heads blown off, punctured with bullet wounds, lanced with garden shears, suffocated with teddy bears and every single one is a death we're going to see in the episodes to come and the deaths come thicker and faster and more gruesome and more horrid and...

Then we're at a pleasant dinner party with calm music playing in the background and a jovial host greeting the guests. Jack is one of them. He's shown into the room and while the others are talking he walks straight up to the camera and addresses the audience.

JACK: This is where it began.

Cue loud scream.

Cut on a camera flash to a snapshot of the victim impaled on a vol-au-vont.

Cut on a camera flash to the victim's point of view and Inspector MacRuttard standing grimly over the body next to a police photographer. Another flash from the camera and then the body bag is zipped up.

Cut to Jack sat across from Inspector MacRuttard in a police interview room.

---

And so begins Jack's gradual decline into madness as he's faced with one dead body after another and a succession of quirky cops, private detectives and amateur sleuths.

[Sandra Ruttan]

And cats. Don't forget the crime-solving cats. But they're like deep throat, and only meet him in alleys, so you only see their shadow and hear their meowy voice.

[Vincent Holland-Keen]

I can use that - I shall add it to my list of ideas:

LIST OF IDEAS:
1. Crime-solving cat doing deep breathing in an alleyway.

Excellent.